


if you say you want me to stay

by bloubird_scribe



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Domestic, M/M, daddy!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 05:18:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloubird_scribe/pseuds/bloubird_scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's excellent at many things, but if Liam's especially excellent at anything, it's running. Running away is different, but he's good at that too. Staying? Well, that's more of Harry's thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you say you want me to stay

**Author's Note:**

> This took me a few months to write and I can only hope that it turned out great. Title from "Change My Mind" by One Direction. Also, I would like to say that how I have written Andy in this story isn't how I view him AT ALL. I love Andy, he's fucking awesome.

It always starts great, always starts with fireworks and this overwhelming feeling like you've got your head in the clouds and like you're being tugged into something bigger than you've ever imagined. You get happy instantly, like every little sweet thing in this world can turn you into the biggest optimist the world has ever seen. You see the good in almost everything - inhale and feel a buzz like you're vibrating with a vapor that fills not only your lungs, but your soul, and exhale in a sweet, sated sigh with a dopey smile - and figure that there's no way that you can come down from a high this natural. It feels like there are a million titanium cables that mold into a giant one, keeping you latched on and solid to just a singular thing, and you don't mind one damn bit.

Until the cable slowly but surely turns into feeble little strings, and they all snap. And then you're tugged up and up and up, like those rides at amusement parks, only to be released and dropped back down - and your stomach drops each time you do - going up then dropping back down repeatedly for what feels like a long space of time, until gradually, the sinking feeling is gone and you feel indifferent as it all stops, and you can't help but wonder what's changed from the ride up to the ride down. You can't help but wonder and be angry that suddenly your happiness is gone, and you'd give anything to understand, give anything for an explanation, answers, some kind of closure. But you get none. There's just this overwhelming feeling that you can't physically be there anymore, because it hurts too much. You're blindsided, and it hits you like a freight train and your first thought is to always do the same damn thing.

Run. 

And it always ends like this. 

+

It's damn cold back in London for the middle of August, and Liam suddenly is hit with the memory of why he moved to Dubai in the first place - or rather, one of the reasons why he moved.

He tugs his coat sleeves down over his fingers, cold air caressing his once again buzzed head. Liam instantly regrets forgoing his beanie this morning, and yearns for the hottest shower he's taken in two years. A familiar green sign strikes his periphery vision and he's jogging across the street, ducking inside and letting the aroma of coffee beans hit his nostrils, the warm atmosphere igniting his frozen skin.

"Oh my god. Liam?"

Liam snaps his head to the right, half frozen to the spot, half convinced he needs to run and hide.  

"It is you! You're back!" 

And suddenly he's bombarded, arms flying around his neck and legs around his waist, and his hands instinctively shoot out to support their thighs and familiar light weight. Patrons and baristas are staring now, some smiling fondly, others glancing with blank expressions. He relaxes his stiff muscles, nuzzling his face into his best friend's neck.

"I missed you, Payno." Niall whispers into his ear, squeezing tight and breathing in. 

Liam flushes, suddenly overcome with emotion because yeah, "I missed you too, Nialler." He hasn't seen Niall in six months, but that was through a Skype session. The last time Liam and Niall were face to face like this was when Liam said goodbye at the airport seven months ago. It wasn't that Liam didn't want to Skype Niall, it wasn't that he didn't want to talk to him, it's just that...well, after his first fight with Andy after three months of being there, things kind of just spectacularly fell to shit. And Liam's equally shit at keeping track of things like that.

Niall releases his grip and Liam lets him down, ruffling his friend's hair. "I like this, Niall. All brunette and no blonde - it suits you." 

He blushes, touching his hair absently then gestures to Liam. "Same to you man, I thought you were liking the whole mohawk-faux-hawk hairdo. Is this another 'drastic times call for drastic measures' thing?" 

"A little, yeah." Liam admits, and Niall smiles knowingly. 

That's one thing Liam will always be grateful for. Niall doesn't push, doesn't poke and prod - unlike Louis - he waits until you're ready, waits until you feel like you want to talk about it, and he'll always listen to you whenever that time may come.

"When did you get back?" Niall asks instead, and Liam can do this. He can have this conversation. 

"Maybe five days ago? I've just been catching up on sleep, cleaning the flat, getting back into the swing of things. I re-registered at the university, too. I'll be back in my old classes in two weeks when the semester starts." 

"Perfect! And you're back in time for your twenteenth birthday!  We'll have to do a joint party then."

Liam raises a brow. "Joint party? You and Louis are still doing your back to school thing aren't you?"

Niall gives a sly smile. "You know better than to break tradition, Liam. Plus, it'll be good for you. A lot has changed since you left, you know. Well, obviously, but you'll have to see for yourself."

"I look forward to it, seriously." He says, and because he can't help it, he pulls Niall in for another hug. "I missed you." 

"Don't make me cry in a Starbucks, Liam. I'll give you a dead arm." 

+

He has to wake up early. If he allows himself to sleep in, he won't get a thing done. Liam can't lay in bed all morning or he'll end up wallowing and sulking and he knows better than that, dammit. There isn't much of a time difference between Dubai and London, but his body sure acts like it. He's been waking up periodically in the middle of the night, then again some time before sunrise, and then again when it's nearing noon. 

So this morning, when his body wakes up before the sun can break the horizon, Liam slings his legs over the side of the couch, and rests his elbows on his knees. He makes a mental note to go to Ikea and get a new bed, a new bed frame, and new sheets and pillows. Because the ones he has now just won't do. They smell like Andy and they have an Andy sized dent and Liam hates that fucking bed now. 

After using the bathroom and washing his hands, Liam takes a look in his bathroom cabinet, and dammit again. If he has to remodel this whole fucking house, he will. 

Anything to get rid of these traces of the past.

He brushes his teeth quickly and throws on some track pants, grabbing his running shoes, keys, and iPod, and starts out. It's fucking cold, but Liam can't find it in him to care. He focuses on the burn of the cold air as he breathes through his nose, the ache in his chest that he hasn't felt in months, and the way his feet move like he's been doing his morning runs everyday for the past seven months. Which he hasn't. 

When Liam first started his morning run routine, he'd gotten advice from his old track coach to change up his route. To never do the same route twice a week. He told Liam having different routes would keep him moving, make sure he never got tired of the same old track and that it would challenge him. So sometimes, as he took a stroll or just walked down the street, he would see pathways or trails or back roads, and then he'd been mapping out his next run. Back in Wolverhampton, he had at least fifteen different running routes, each different distances, taking him different amounts of time and to different places. And when he moved to London, he found he could run anywhere he wanted. Scrap mapping it out - it was such a big city and he knew that if his feet decided to go left, to just follow along. 

He'd get to where he was going eventually.  

With this in mind, Liam starts running toward a park, but then cuts left, going into some neighborhood and then back out onto some main-street. Soon, after a few turns that keep him going farther and farther, he realizes he doesn't know where he wants to go. He doesn't know where his feet are taking him and it's suddenly colder than he remembers it being when he left. It's an uncomfortable feeling, and then drops land on his cheek and oh just fucking great.

It's raining, he's cold, sweaty, tired, and lost. 

Liam just raises the volume on his iPod and turns, running back to his flat.

+ 

The sun is just touching the clouds when Liam gets home, and he knows he must look pale and purple and blue and red from the cold and his frustration. His frozen fingers fumble with the keys and the door, and he all but throws himself into a hot shower, scrubbing away his thoughts of the early morning.  

Coffee and a bagel with cream cheese - that's what he needs. That, and maybe a dog. Dogs are loyal. 

Well, pet dogs are loyal, at least.

He's just looking up what breed he wants on his laptop when the doorbell rings, and then there's a turn of keys and Liam's heart stops.

He couldn't have followed Liam back here, certainly he's not that stupid. No, he has to be in Dubai, drinking and partying and -

"I'm hurt you didn't come to see us sooner, Liam."

And it's only Louis and Zayn. 

Zayn holds up a bag and Louis holds up a tray with three coffees, and as if it has a mind of its own, Liam's stomach growls loudly at the sight. But first, he gives them both a hug, curling his arms around them tightly and whispering gently into their ears when they start to confess how much they've missed him, how much they wish he didn't leave. 

"I'm home now." He assures, "I'm not going anywhere."

There's a silence, and Liam relaxes his mind but not his grip. Not until he feels the tweak of his nipple and he's drawing back to give Louis a wounded look.

"That's for seeing Niall first. We've known you since you were five, Liam, _five,_ and we had to find out second hand." Louis states, brushing past him and flopping onto the couch. 

Zayn runs his fingers over the bristles of Liam's hair gently, giving his signature soft smile that only Liam gets to see. "You buzzed it again. I like it. Like you best like this."

He's speaking softly, so Liam knows Louis probably just dragged him out of bed so they could come and see him. He just smiles at Zayn, both of them following Louis's path and sitting down. 

+ 

They distract Liam for majority of the day, and when they leave after dinner, Liam is actually exhausted. There isn't much to do but shower and crash, and he does just that. 

+ 

"Daddy!" 

_No. Not this early. Please not this early._

"Daddyyy!"  

_Oh sweetheart, please no._

"DADDY!"

Slowly, Harry opened his left eye, his right one buried by the pillow. His little girl stood before him in her princess onesie, clutching her stuffed Pascal, and sporting her infamous pout. Her eyes were wide open, curly dirty blonde hair messy from sleep. 

"Daddy!" She exclaimed again. 

Harry winced at the volume, but smiled sleepily. "Yes, Eva?"

"Want breakfast!" 

Harry rose a brow playfully. "I don't know what that is, baby..." 

Eva's green eyes went wide, and her mouth turned down into a frown. "Yes you do! I'm _hungwyyy_ Daddy! _Pweaseee_!" 

Harry chuckled softly and rolled onto his back. "Okay sweetheart. Okay. Just give me a minute alright?" 

Eva harrumphed. "No now!" 

"Maybe Zayn was right, she does learn from me." 

Harry's eyes went to his door, and he smiled. "Evvy, why don't you go with Uncle Louis and set the table? I'm sure he'd be happy to help." 

Louis rolled his eyes, but held his arms out for her. Eva patted Harry's cheek, before running into Louis's arms, giggling as they descended the stairs. At the silence, Harry shut his eyes, ready to doze again, but knew better of it. Eva would surely come back and jump on him if she didn't get her way.

He made his way to the bathroom and cleaned his teeth, before shrugging on a thick jumper and jeans. He could hear his daughter giggling wildly downstairs as Louis sang to her, and headed down the hall to wake up Zayn. He had his first shift in an hour and was going to be late for work. 

Harry walked over to Zayn's iHome dock, pressing play on his iPod and slowly cranking up the volume dial and allowing "Amigas Cheetahs" to fill up the space. 

Zayn shot up out of bed, glaring a black hole into Harry's skull. Harry gave a benevolent smile. "You made a playlist for Eva." 

"You're a fucking prick Harry."

The curly boy shrugged. "You're a sucker for kids." He said on his way out.

When he made it to the kitchen, Eva was already eating a small plate of bananas and grapes, hair brushed, and Louis was working on bacon for himself.

"Is precious Zayn awake?"

"As awake as he can be, you know how he gets in the morning, and - oh! Evvy honey, no, bananas don't go with syrup." Harry chastises, snatching the bottle just in time to prevent a flood of stickiness on her plate. Eva lets out an exasperated sigh and pokes at her bananas with her spoon.

"Daddy, we go park? Zayn paint?"

Harry sighed now. He knew Zayn taking Eva to the park to paint was a bad idea. "If Zayn doesn't mind. But Aunty Lou is going to have to take you today mostly. You've got a playdate with Lux, remember?"

Eva's eyes light up at the mention of her favorite twin-like friend. She doesn't say anymore, silently agreeing with her father as he takes her spoon and starts to feed her. She's halfway done when Louis speaks up. "Sorry we missed dinner with you two last week, by the way, Zayn and I didn't expect to be out so late."

"That's alright," Harry replies, feeding Eva a spoonful of bananas. "How did it go? Seeing your old friend."

Louis smiles fondly. "He's been through a lot, but he'll be okay. We're just glad he's back, you know? Hopefully he'll bounce back quick."

Harry nods. "I mean, I don't know what he's going through, but I'm sure you guys will help him out. He'll be fine if he's got you two, and Niall, of course."

"Still can't believe that little thing got to him first though. Zayn and I are his rightful best friends. We've-"

"'Known him since he was five,' I know Louis. You've said as much."

Louis flushes. "Sorry. It's just...seven months. It's the longest time he's been away."

Harry shushes Eva gently when she starts squealing at his silly faces, "Love makes people do crazy things, Louis."

"Zayn! Paint?" Eva pressed as he entered the kitchen, and Zayn smiled in turn at her, taking Harry's place as he began to feed her. 

"Maybe later, okay Eva? I have to go to work today." He murmured. "Harry, you need me to babysit tonight, or are you good?"  

Harry shook his head, reaching for his keys and phone. "No, you guys have that back to school thing, right?" 

Louis blinks. "Is today Saturday? Oh my god, it is! I totally forgot!"

"Of course you did, Lou. Oh and look at this!" Harry says, smiling widely for his baby girl. "Eva, you've eaten all of your food! Very good. Now let's go get you dressed, shall we? You're going to look extra cute today..."

+

Eva is a one and a half years old, nearly two, and she's the bright light of Harry's entire universe. 

When he was newly seventeen, he met Cara, a silly, witty, lighthearted girl who rode in like a hurricane and swept him away. She was blonde, short, had green eyes that put Harry's to shame, and stole his heart the moment he heard her laugh. They had a whirlwind romance of sorts, but Harry was crazy about her. After a year or so, though, they realized that maybe this was too much too soon, so they parted ways.

Except a few months later, Cara showed up on his doorstep, crying and frantic and hand on her stomach and Harry knew. He just knew. Harry promised Cara that they would work it out for the baby, that he wouldn't leave or abandon her and that he would stay. That he would own up and stay. His mother was more understanding than Cara's and allowed her to live with them, helping her and Harry with all the baby prep they needed.

Of course, she gave Harry an earful about responsibility and irresponsibility, as well as his blatant disregard for 'safe sex' and that he was too young to be caught up in this, and that Cara was too young to be dealing with something like this.

But when Eva was born, it didn't even matter anymore. 

Harry can remember the first time he held her like it happened just this morning. She was wrapped in a soft bundle with a pink hat on her head, so small - she was the length of his forearm. She was soft and her eyes were shut, but she cooed like she knew who she was with, like she knew that Harry would take care of her for the rest of her life. 

Cara insisted that he come up with a name, and Harry drew up short. He stared at Cara, holding their sleeping daughter and thought about it. How much this was going to change him, how much this moment meant, how much their daughter meant and that his daughter was now his reason to live. So he called his friend Ben, just to double check. Then called his friend Zayn from his Uni class and made a check with him. As soon as it was verified, he knew.

Eva, in both Hebrew and Urdu, means life, living one, or life beloved. And Cara smiled at the choice.

"What do you say little one? Shall we call you Eva? Do you like the name your daddy picked for you?" Cara had cooed, and Eva stirred in her arms, but like a wonder of the world, their sleeping child gave a sleepy grin, and it was set. 

Eva Mae Styles was born on the thirtieth of June, to Cara Jocelyn Delevingne and Harry Edward Styles, in London, England. (And it says as much on her birth certificate.)

For the first several months of Eva's life, it was fine. Harry was almost nineteen, they were both in University and had moved into a flat in London with Zayn. He loved Eva like they were blood, and told Harry and Cara that if they ever needed, he would be there. Cara and Harry worked and took their classes and it worked out because they could alternate between who could be with Eva when the other couldn't and they never left her side.

But because the world hates Harry, things fell apart.

Cara was falling in love with Harry all over again, which took Harry by surprise because he was under the impression that when they ended it, they ended it. Sure they lived together, but they didn't kiss, didn't have sex, just slept in the same bed and held hands in the spur of the moment.

And Harry felt like shit for it, because he genuinely didn't realize how Cara was feeling, didn't realize that there was an actual possibility that she would grow feelings and want their relationship back. But it was more than their relationship, she hoped that they could move to a smaller house after Uni, maybe have another child and get married. And Harry...he wanted that. He liked that idea. He wanted to settle down, but not now. Not that way, and not with Cara.

She became distant after Harry drew the line, started to sleep in Eva's room only and wouldn't address Harry unless she had to. And then one day, Harry came home with Eva and Zayn after taking her to look at daycares, and when he called out to Cara that they were home, there was no response. Originally, he thought that maybe she had taken the late shift at work again, or that she went out with friends, so Harry didn't say anything. He just took Eva upstairs and put her to bed. 

Except the next morning, when he went downstairs, Eva wasn't already in her high chair with Cara sitting next to her, feeding her mashed peas or whatever other baby food they had in the cupboards. Thinking they were sleeping in, Harry took it upon himself to just feed Eva and let Cara sleep in, but when he went into her nursery, Eva was the only occupant.  

There was a note attached to her rocking chair, and Harry just knew.

Cara said that she couldn't stay anymore. That being in love with Harry wasn't planned, yes, and that she knew it would cause trouble and ruin everything. She said that leaving Eva wasn't a choice she wanted to make, but one she had to. Because she was so in love with Harry, and every time she saw Eva, she saw him. It was like she was surrounded by the things she couldn't have - like it was being dangled in front of her face and yanked away every time she tried to reach out for it. She promised that she would call, be back to visit, but overall, she was still gone.

And for the first time in what felt like decades, Harry cried. He held his baby girl to his chest and cried. Not because he loved Cara after all, but he loved Cara because she was the mother of his child and because he cared, and because he felt at fault. Not only that, but how would he ever explain this to Eva when she started asking? If she ever did. He told Zayn that Cara had left, and then Zayn cried because one of his friends had moved to Dubai, and Eva sat between the boys, her small smile and giggles calming them slowly. 

About a month later, Louis moved in. Zayn said he was mourning the absence of their friend as well, and that he be a great help with Eva because he'd helped raise his four little sisters. Harry took to him instantly, and was thankful for a new friend.

But moreover, he was thankful for Eva. Because though she was only a baby, she was Harry's constant. The reason he woke up in the mornings and why he worked so hard to do his best - because he had someone to look after, someone to live for. He was thankful because she gave him reason to go on. 

In the end, she's all he really needs.

+

Zayn and Louis had been gone for hours, and Harry used that time to cuddle his daughter, letting her go when her toys seemed to be more interesting than her own father. He'd fed her yogurt and mashed potatoes for dinner, and settled down for Monsters Inc on the couch. 

"Daddy." Eva whispered, tugging on the sleeve of his nightshirt.

He glanced down at her sleepy frame resting on his torso, and she squirmed slightly. "Spot."

Spot was a stuffed panda that Harry had bought for her one day, and she refused to sleep without it,even though she still loved her Pascal. "You want to go to bed Evvy? It is a little late for you."

"Sleep wif you?" Eva questioned. 

"You don't want your bed?"

"No, want Daddy. Comfy."

Harry smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead, shutting of the TV before cradling her close as he grabbed Spot from her room and then went into his, placing them both beneath the covers, Eva on his chest. She clutched at Spot's paw, and Harry watched as she slowly nodded off - mouth falling open lightly and her thumb lightly resting against her cheek.

"I love you Evvy," he whispered. "Daddy loves you very much." 

+

Liam feels pleasantly dizzy, the alcohol running through his body and keeping him swaying along with the bass and with crowd. After they sung happy birthday to him, Niall had gotten him a cocktail that tasted like birthday cake - instead of an actual cake, because after Louis's eighteenth birthday they'd learnt their lesson - and ran off with Josh and Zayn. It doesn't matter though, because with the liquid courage, Liam feels fucking weightless, feels so god damn happy and loose and free - like no one can touch him, no one can ruin this moment.

And before this? Before the party and the drinks and when he was getting ready back at his flat, he was so fucking angry. He was seething, absolutely seething and seeing and breathing and feeling nothing but crimson red - and why? Because of a pair of fucking jeans, that's why. 

He was deciding what to wear and hadn't noticed the jeans until he was stood in his full length mirror - black jeans and a raglan tee he was sure belonged to Louis. But then his eyes landed on a tear in the pockets, and when he recalled how the tear got there, he tore off the jeans and took them downstairs, shoving them in the cabinet under the sink. On his way back upstairs, the burning feeling of just knowing those jeans still existed made him fucking rage, breaking vases and dishes and picture frames anything else in his way as he went back to his room. 

When he and Andy had been in Dubai for a few months, their first argument was over something so fucking important to Liam, but something Andy could give less than a shit about - concert tickets. And thinking back, maybe Liam was a little emotional and maybe he was acting like a teenage girl, but when something is important to someone you love, shouldn't you at least fucking consider how it feels when you slag it, tell them no, try to wane them of it? 

Liam thought so, at least. And he showed Andy an ad for an acoustic show of a band he'd been into for a long time, and it was in a small music hall and tickets weren't even in the hundred range, just twelve fucking pounds. Twelve measly fucking pounds, and of course you could buy them online or you could go to the venue and get it, but Liam figured either way it didn't matter because what fucking concert these days cost just twelve pounds? 

He showed it to Andy with a smile on his face and a bit of hesitation because yeah, maybe it's embarrassing to be nearly twenty and acting like an excited fourteen year old girl over a band, but these days isn't that what everyone else is doing anyway? 

"Who are they?" Andy asked, finally tearing his eyes away from some dumb movie. 

"The new band I like, you know, the one I've been listening to lately."

And it crushed his fucking heart when Andy huffed, said "Liam, no. I wish you'd stop fucking asking about tickets to concerts when we don't have money."

Which wasn't fucking true, because earlier that day, Andy was willing to buy thirty pounds worth of roses for their friend Georgia for a garden she was making, and Georgia is richer than the both of them combined.

But not wanting to bring it up, Liam instead said "but it's only twelve pounds." 

"But where is it?" Andy retorted, and when Liam said it was maybe a half hour drive away, Andy snorted at him, said "Yeah, and what about gas to drive there? Thought about how much that's gonna cost?" 

Liam furrowed his brows, "But it's only twelve pounds, and I really like them, and-"

"Liam, we went to that concert you liked last year, remember? I went to Watch the Throne for you and-"

"But you liked Watch the Throne!"

"-And we don't have money to go to this, okay? So no. And don't even think about sneaking around, going behind my back to get tickets and go. We have to make sure we make next months rent. End of."

And Liam had stood there, gaping at Andy because what the fuck, and where the fuck did that come from?

But Liam, not wanting to cause any more tension, retreated to the spare room in their apartment and semi-slammed the door, scrolling through his phone and listening to the band's songs lowly, humming along to their lyrics. 

Not even ten minutes later he could hear Andy laughing outside on the couch at something on telly, and it made Liam's blood fucking boil. He rolled onto his back and huffed again, picking down at his jeans. And when he left the guest room later, and Andy tried to kiss him goodnight, tell him to come to bed, Liam ducked away and accidentally backed into the corner of their kitchen counter, the counter catching onto the fabric of his jeans and tearing a hole near the pocket.

It upset Liam so much and he slammed the door to the bathroom shut, blasting the band's music in a fuck you to Andy, that just because he had to be a fucking buzz kill and a liar and a hypocrite, it wouldn't deter Liam's love for this band. Not one fucking minute. And as he sung "I don’t even like you, why’d you want go and make me feel this way? I don’t understand what’s happened, I keep saying things I never said." over the spray of the shower, his anger increased into defiance. 

But he never bought tickets. Never went. Listened to Andy because he felt in the end that he was right - when Andy wasn't right at all, in actuality, and it made Liam so fucking upset, he could cry. 

When Liam got out of the shower, dirty clothes in his hand, Andy was there waiting for him, saying that he was sorry and that Liam just didn't understand and that they just couldn't go. But Andy didn't understand, actually, didn't understand that sometimes things like these were a once in a lifetime shot and fuck all if Andy thought Liam was gonna let him get away with it. Liam shrugged it off, accepted Andy's kiss with nonchalance and as they slept, Liam kept as much distance between them as possible.

And it's so strange, but that night Liam thought back to when he was younger and he and Ruth got into their first screaming match. He remembers it vividly. They were arguing over who Nicola liked better - so stupid now - and he was in a bright red shirt and brown shorts, and he had just scraped his knee the day before and had a fading temporary tattoo on his arm of a spaceship. Ruth was in a yellow dress and had her hair done up in a ponytail - one that at the time Liam wanted to yank right out of her big stupid head - and was holding a Barbie doll, pointing it at him accusingly and calling him a butthead and that Nicola didn't like Liam because he was a boys and boys farted.

Bottom line, when there are negative moments in your life, you find that you remember the smallest of details. Every detail, actually, even the ones you don't want to remember or ones you think you don't remember. It's just human nature, Liam thinks, to remember things unconsciously or consciously, and it's crazy that they can stir up so many emotions all at once. You remember everything, from what you said, to what it was about, who it was with, who was in the room, what was on tv, what you ate just before, even what you wore.

Liam makes a mental note to burn those jeans till their ashes turn to ash.

+

He's spectacularly drunk when Zayn shoves him into a booth and slings an arm around him, pressing his face into Liam's neck. "Happy birthday Payne!" 

Liam smiles, "Thanks Zayn, missed you."

"I'm sorry, by the way." Zayn whispers, and there it is.

He knew the boys would say something eventually, knew that he eventually would have to talk about it and eventually they'd want to know, and he can't blame them. They're his friends, they're always going to be concerned. He just didn't expect it to be now. But if it had to be anyone to ask or bring it up, Liam's glad it's Zayn. Even if they're drunk off their asses.

"It's okay." Liam says back, and he's not so sure if that statement is true yet, or if it ever will be.

Zayn mumbles something into Liam's neck, something along the lines of "chance" and "meant to be" and Liam's heart throbs in his chest, reaches for a shot on a moving tray and necks it back, lets the words blur.

+

"Who can tell me what the 'over-soul' is?" 

It's too early on a Wednesday morning and Liam's class is full of familiar faces, all of them with coffee cups still steaming, laptops and iPads open to an empty word document and some people with notebooks, scrawling over it with different colored pens and highlighters. Liam suddenly wishes for his birthday party back from last week Saturday, wishes for drinks and escapes, minus the mega hangover he had the next morning. 

"Anyone?" Professor Dermot presses, and Liam knows that he's just as exhausted as the rest of them. But Liam can't feel too much empathy, because who in their right mind would start the year off going over transcendentalism? 

Just as he's about to raise his hand anyway, another hand shoots up from somewhere down in front of the stands. "The 'over-soul' is the belief that nature, a higher being, and humanity are united in a shared universal soul." 

Professor Dermot brightens, "Exactly! Thank you Mr..."

"Harry Styles," the body attached to the hand says. The voice is slow and deep and careful, and his ears instantly perk up to the sound.

"Thank you, very well done Mr. Styles." Dermot beams, and turns back to the white board. 

Liam keeps his eyes down at where the boy is, but can't see him past a few people and gives up instead. He waits for him to answer another one of Dermot's questions, but he doesn't. 

After a few notes and a reading of Thoreau, their professor tells them to turn to a page of their textbook and scans the stands for a victim to read. And because Liam's day and week and past year has gone to shit, he doesn't stand a chance.

"Mr. Styles! Why don't you read for us? Just the first paragraph, please."

Or maybe he does.

Liam's chest pounds, and he hears the boy clear his throat, recites carefully. "'The transcendentalist philosophy asserts that knowledge of fundamental reality is beyond the reach of a person's limited senses, and is derived through intuition rather than sensory experience. Human senses are limited - they convey knowledge of the physical world, but deeper truths can be grasped only through intuition. Transcendentalism is an intellectual movement, it focuses on individualism and encourages nonconformity and self-reliance. Transcendentalism also highlights that the observation of nature illuminates the nature of human beings.'" 

Liam finds himself hanging onto the boy's - was it Henry? - every word, the slow enunciation, the semi-conviction of his words, how confident he is when he speaks. It's one of those voices that actually sound like how honey works, slow and thick and moving. It's enticing, and holy shit. He thinks he's actually blushing.

"Excellent!" Dermot says, and turns back to the whiteboard to jot something down.

'Human senses are limited - they convey knowledge of the physical world, but deeper truths can be grasped only through intuition.'  

Liam can't help but agree. It means you think you know, because of what's there, but you don't know until you dig a little deeper. You won't know because majority of the time you're blinded because you don't know the whole story. And when you figure out the whole story, suddenly, you aren't even sure if you wanted to know in the first place.

He can hear the Styles kid down in front speak again, but he can't actually hear over the thrum in his heart.

Why in the post break up world, even the slightest and dumbest things like transcendentalism can send you spiraling back down, is the biggest mystery to Liam. And he wonders if anyone else in this room has suffered this way, plagued by the constant worry that even thinking can send you into a place you can't get out of. Back to the thought of the one person you're trying to forget.

Something tells him that the answer is yes.

+

"No."

"Eva, please."

"No daddy, I don't _want_ to." 

Harry sighs and hangs his head, pale purple dress falling limp in his hands. "But Evvy, you love this dress."

Eva won't budge. "No daddy, don't want it." She curls her little fists and stretches as she yawns, looking back at Harry with blank eyes.

"But don't you want to wear your favourite dress for Uncle Niall? It's his birthday."

She frowns at him, kicking her little legs from where she's perched on his bed. "No daddy, down now please?"

"Not yet, baby girl. Okay," he resigns, "What do you want to wear?"

Eva points at his jumper. "What color?"

"It's orange, Eva. Like the fruit, remember? And the flowers in the backyard."

"That one daddy! Same!" Eva says, and Harry smiles. He ruffles through her closet before finding an orange dress with little yellow flowers on the hem and Eva cheers, allowing Harry to help her put it on and smooth her hair down. 

"I pwetty?" She asks, and Harry nods.

"The prettiest girl I've ever seen." 

Eva presses a kiss to his cheek and climbs into his arms, Harry whisking them away and to his car. The drive to the Italian restaurant is short, Eva and Harry singing along to songs in the car. It's just the three of them tonight, Louis and Zayn having already celebrated with Niall this morning and through to the afternoon with their friend who returned from Dubai.

"You should meet him someday, Harry. You'd like him." Niall says, reaching over to help feed Eva some of the baby food Harry had bought with them.

The tone in Niall's voice makes Harry raise an eyebrow. It's not the "you need more friends" tone they all jokingly make at him once in awhile, but the "you need a good shag" tone that they try to use on him more than once during a day. Telling him to leave Eva at home for a few hours because they can watch her, and that one measly shag won't hurt. But Harry doesn't want a shag. Doesn't want something people can run from and forget. After Cara, and having Eva, permanence is something Harry's more fond of.

"No thank you," Harry says firmly. "I'm alright with what I have."

Niall frowns. "H, I don't mean that I'm trying to hook you up. I'm just saying that-"

"I know, Niall." Harry sighs. "But I'm not ready yet, okay? Just...give it time. Be patient with me please."

Niall presses a kiss to Eva's cheek. "She's amazing Harry. You've done so well with her. I just. The boys and I think you deserve a reward for it. A break, you know?"

Harry smiles at his daughter and she beams in return, taking a sip from her bottle. "She is my reward. I don't need a break from her."

Niall smiles fondly at them. "I'm glad."

"Before I forget, happy birthday, Niall." Harry says, and pulls out the blue wrapped present. 

"Happy birfday Ni!" Eva echoes, and Harry feels his heart swell. Who needs a significant other when you have a child so beautiful?

+

Professor Dermot is discussing Thoreau again, and Harry wonders if they're ever going to move on. He's been at it for a week and a half now. And there's only so much Thoreau and Emerson Harry can take before he'd rather drown in Poe. 

That and the fact that he's massively tired doesn't help. Eva kept him up all night because she was feeling ill, and Harry wanted to be sure she didn't throw up or didn't start up a fever. She wasn't feeling much better this morning, but Zayn opted to take care of her until Harry got back in the afternoon after work.

Harry just hopes Dermot doesn't call on him today, because transcendentalism can pretty much go fuck itself. Harry even moved seats from the first few rows to somewhere in the middle, next to this boy who has a birthmark on his neck.

He's just typing down something Dermot said on his iPad when then boy next to him speaks up. 

"Society and it's institutions corrupted the purity of the individual."

And goodness, his _voice_. Harry finds his head turning to look at him and can feel his sharp intake of breath. He hopes it isn't too noticeable but, holy fuck.

They're the only pairs of eyes Harry's seen that resemble chocolate so well and Harry feels like he's looking into a chocolate factory. And what?

And he has _stubble_. For the love of all that is sane. The only people in Harry's life who he thinks look amazing with stubble are Zayn and Louis. 

There was Nick, his short time boyfriend after Cara, but he didn't understand Harry, and Eva...Harry never let him meet her because Eva didn't need someone like that in her life. That, and Nick's stubble was absolutely disgusting.

But this boy, god. He's so attractive.

"Alright mate?" He asks, and Harry snaps back, blushing and turning away.

He is so not an option.

+

"Where's a good hookah bar to go to?"

Zayn does a very dramatic spit take and nearly falls off of his stool at the kitchen island, clutching the counter the brace himself. "I'm sorry? What did you just say?"

"You know, a hookah bar. For smoking hookah." Liam says nonchalantly, pushing his stir fry dinner around in the pan.

Zayn gives him a blank stare. "Why in the world are you asking about hookah bars?"

"Dunno, I can't be curious?"

"I'm not telling you about hookah bars until you tell me why you want to know." Zayn insists, and Liam huffs.

"Look, I was only asking you because I thought you'd help. If you're not going to I can always use google and go for myself."

Zayn physically winces, and Liam frowns. "I'm sorry I snapped. I don't-"

"It's fine Liam." He says, waves his hand dismissively. "I'll take you."

After they eat Liam's stir fry, they end up at a place called Sara Cafe. It's a Shisha place, and it serves food and tea and it's cozy. Liam likes it, likes how he can smell an array of spices and herbs, but can smell something sweet at the same time. 

"Danny and Anthony took me here once." Zayn explains. "This place couldn't get rid of me if they tried."

"And oh how we have tried."

Liam and Zayn turn and Zayn breaks into a wide smile. "Liam, this is Melissa. She works here. Melissa this is Liam, the one who ran away to Dubai."

"Nice to meet you," Liam says, giving her a warm smile. She gets Zayn a cup of tea and sets up a hookah for the both of them. Rose with mint and an ice pack, according to Zayn.

He watches Zayn set it all up and tries to not let his nerves show, because the last thing that he needs is for Zayn to give him shit about all of this, when really, Liam's allowed to have a rebellion period, isn't he? Given his circumstances. And besides, Zayn can't really criticize, given the fact that according to Melissa and her treatment toward Zayn, that he's a regular here. Liam listens carefully when he instructs him on what to do, how to breathe and how long to hold it for, and that "no Liam, it's not weed or drugs, fucking Christ you need to stay away from Louis."

When he holds the pipe to his lips, Liam keeps his hand steady and inhales slowly, holds it for several seconds and can taste the flavor in his mouth. It's nice, and as he exhales, he watches the smoke cloud around and dissipate. Zayn's watching him, takes the pipe from Liam's hands immediately.

"Okay?" He murmurs, and Liam nods.

"Great. Can I go again?" And he takes the pipe before Zayn can even say anything, inhaling to forget. 

So it goes like that. Liam taking inhales and Zayn joining him, sipping his tea every now and then. When they leave, it's well into the evening and they're walking back to Liam's flat, Zayn figuring it would be better this time for them to talk. 

"Andy went to a lot of them, back in Dubai." Liam explains. "I guess I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about." 

Zayn sighs. "I should've known. Liam, you can't - fuck. Please don't do this to yourself, don't try to change after the fact just because things went to shit." 

"I'm not!" Liam defends, breaking. "I just wanted to see what was so interesting about them that he had to stay out all night. I just want answers."

"Those are answers you aren't going to find here in London." Zayn murmurs, and pulls Liam in for a tight hug. "You won't find those answers in Dubai either, and Andy sure as hell won't give them to you. Liam..."

He pulls back, hands on Liam's shoulders and gaze steady. "You have to understand that in situations like these, where you need answers, that you won't get them. That the questions you have will go unanswered unless you make up bullshit to push them aside. Okay? When something ends with so many things up in the air, it's best to leave it that way, or you'll drive yourself mad thinking about it."

"I didn't do anything." Liam confesses, and it's the first time he's talked about why this whole thing happened. 

But Zayn won't push him. "I know you didn't. You loved him Liam, that's all. It's okay." And they're back in a hug. "Don't downward spiral on me, okay Liam? I'll be here for you, I'll try my hardest but don't break. He isn't worth it. You're stronger than that."

And Liam just hopes to the highest being that Zayn is right.

+

Liam feels like his lungs are going to implode. They've been out in the rain all morning and for most of the afternoon, and what should've been a small game of kick about in the park has turned into an all out match.

"You cheating twat!" Niall exclaims from somewhere down the hill. Liam turns his head and can see Louis running, ball at the tip of his toes, heading straight for Liam. He runs toward Louis, meeting his pace before bending down, catching Louis around the waist and swinging him to the right, sending them both spiraling to the ground. Liam can hear Niall above them as he comes to steal the ball, but as he tries to stand to trail the brunette Irishman, a hand circles around his ankle and tugs, allowing Liam to face plant into the muddy grass.

"And that's another goal for number thirteen, Niall Horan! And the crowd goes wild! Ahhhhh!" 

Louis and Liam level Niall with a look where he's dancing by one of the trees - Louis's assigned goal - and Liam chucks a hunk of mud at his back without thinking.

"That's three games in a row." Niall exclaims happily, trotting over with the ball tucked under his arm. "And I thought you two were supposed to be the athletic ones."

Louis huffs, blowing fringe out of his face. "Luck of the Irish my arse. You are a damn alien, Horan."

"I'm mad out of breath, me." Liam admits, and Niall laughs.

"I'm hungry. And I need a shower." He says, helping Louis and Liam up.

"I think I have mud in my ears." Louis says, and they start the walk back to Niall's place down the road. Josh is out - Niall saying he went to go fix his snare drum - and so it leaves the three of them to muck about and make a mess until Josh gets back. The neat freak. 

After Liam showers, he nicks some of Niall's clothes and heads to the kitchen, making tea for the three of them and warming up some chocolate cake for himself.

Louis comes out of the shower next, not saying a word to Liam as he joins him and grabs his mug.

"That tackle was legal, you know." Liam presses, and Louis scowls.  

"That tackle was betrayal." Louis fires back, but Liam can see the smile creeping at the corners of his lips, so he pushes the plate of cake in front of him as a peace offering.

Niall saunters in wearing just his white Calvin Kleins, brown hair sticking up in spikes at all angles. "Wish H could've played today." He says, and Louis makes a noise of agreement 

"I know, but he was...busy. You know how it is." He supplies, and Liam doesn't even want to ask. They've been talking about this 'H' character for a little over a week now, blatantly in front of Liam, and he knows it's a set up. At least Zayn has only mentioned him once. As far as Liam knows, the boys met H early into he and Andy's relationship, didn't get close to him until Liam left because apparently they were all going through some things then. Liam just feels bad for not seeing it.

Niall grabs his mug, leaning on his elbows. "Still, we could've played two on two today. Me and you against H and Liam."

"We could've played two on two with Zayn." Liam says, and Niall and Louis give him the look that says he's an idiot. Which okay, he's not entirely. Zayn would've come and played, but he's not a big fan of tackles and mud, and he wouldn't play for five hours like they did. Zayn's an athlete, yeah, but not an enthusiast.

"Yeah but you and H would be a challenge. We'd be evenly matched instead of this triple threat crap." Louis says, and Liam shakes his head. 

"I don't want to meet him guys. I'm fine." 

Niall looks wounded. "At least for a drink. What if we're all there with you?" 

He stays firm. "No. I just got back and I'd rather not be forced into dating again. I'm good with school."

"But-"

"I'll scream." He threatens, and Niall and Louis shut up quickly.

+

Just to be safe, he begs out of seeing the three of them for the rest of the weekend. He does call Eleanor to let her know that he's back, and she, Liam, and Danielle all go out for coffee and sandwiches. When he moved away from Wolvo and met the two girls, Dani and El were like his stand-in older sisters. They kept him in line and babied him when it counted, and Eleanor and Danielle were the ones who got him together with Andy. Someone a couple of years older and someone they thought could rile Liam up a bit. 

They didn't stop apologizing for their error the entire time. 

"Honestly Liam, if we knew that he was that much of a prick, we wouldn't have pushed it." Danielle had said, staring at him with her sweet eyes, the ones that made Liam feel like he was thirteen and still in love with Emily who denied him twenty two times.

"And don't say it's fine, because it isn't." Eleanor said, giving Liam an extra sandwich.

"It is fine though. I'm just as shocked as you both are." He tells them, and they coo and fuss over him for the rest of lunch. About his hair, his tattoos, and he feels better again. Like a little brother.

When he gets back in class on Monday morning, that kid with the curls, can't-remember-his-first-name Styles sits at the top and Liam sits with him because of familiarity. Liam doesn't know him, per say, seeing as the only interactions they've had are when they speak in class, and when he stared at Liam with a look in his eye that Liam can't place and then blushed when he'd been caught. 

Liam stares at him through his periphery vision. He watches how his curls fall in front of his eyes, how he shakes his head like a dog before pushing his fringe back into place. He types quietly on his iPad, glancing up every now and then at the white board, squinting at some points and "get glasses if you have to, or a haircut," Liam thinks. 

And it's a mutual agreement when they start sitting next to each other out of comfort and familiarity after a few days. One day, Styles - which is all he's ever gotten. Because he can't remember him saying his first name that first day and that's all Dermot ever calls him and he never sees his name on anything - pulls out a leather bound notebook and fumbles through his rucksack for a bit. 

Liam taps him on the shoulder, and Styles looks up, blinks at him with wide and tired eyes. "Need a pen?" Liam says, offering his black one.

Styles nods in thank you, bending his head to the page to scribble something. "No iPad today?" Liam questions, and feels like smacking himself in the face because of course he has no iPad, you idiot, why else would he have a notebook?

"No," Styles says, slow and firm. "I uh, got distracted last night and forgot to put it on the charger. And then I couldn't find the charger this morning to plug it in, so..."

Liam nods, and that's how it starts. 

They make small talk here and there for the rest of the week, over pens and notes and iPads, small and stupid, meaningless things, and when they speak, Liam can't help it but he stares. Because Styles has curls, and green eyes, and dimples. That isn't his type. And Liam does not want.

They don't even know each other's first names.

+

For the fifth time, Harry forgets to charge his iPad. It's honestly not his fault. He's just been seriously distracted. The past week and a half, Eva's teeth have been coming in towards the back and she's been having pains, won't sleep without Harry and wakes up every other hour each night crying because it hurts so much.

And in the mornings, he forgets to grab his charger because Eva will start crying when he starts to gather his books, thrashing in the arms of whoever is going to watch her for the morning, because she doesn't want him to leave her while she's hurting. She wants her daddy to stay home and tell her that it's alright, that she's going to be okay and to make the pain better by at least just being there.

And that's all Harry wants to, is to just be there. 

So when Eva begins to wail as he's getting dressed, shoving Niall away with all her might and all but throwing herself at Harry, a broken cry leaving her lips, he knows he can't go to class.

"We can't cry to get what we want all the time, Evvy." He whispers to her, but Eva doesn't care. She doesn't want Harry going and so he won't. He emails professor Dermot, telling him that due to family circumstances, he can't come to class but would like the notes for their lecture today, please and thank you.

And that's vague enough, right?

Dermot replies within fifteen minutes with what Harry needs and he sits in his desk chair in his room, with Eva whimpering quietly as she sits on his lap and he types up what he can. They spend the day like that, Eva clinging to Harry like she's glued to him, not letting go when he tries to put her down for a nap. Even when he goes to feed her, she'll sit in his lap as quiet as she can, eating as much as possible without her mouth hurting. The only time she'll actually be apart is when he has to change her nappy, and even then she kicks to make him hurry up.

A few hours before he's meant to go in for his shift, Harry calls Paraphernalia Cafe, his work place - they have an art studio equipped with easels, pottery things, kilns, multiple drawing necessities and more, as well as computer stations for writers, and cozy cushions in their cafe where they serve some of the best coffee and their bakery has won three years in a row for their apple pie - and tells his boss that he can't make it, that Eva's teething and she won't let him leave and even if he wanted to he really couldn't leave his baby girl. 

His boss, Preston, is fairly good about it. When Zayn got Harry the job interview there, Harry was accepted immediately for his charm, people skills, ability to cook and bake, and because Eva had to go with him for the interview since no one could watch her that day, Harry thinks her pouty face is what got him hired right away.

He thanked Louis for teaching her that with tiramisu he scored from the bakery. 

Preston tells him not to worry and that he hopes they're both okay, and that he can get someone else to cover Harry's shift. As soon as Harry's off the phone, Eva presses her face into his chest, careful to avoid her cheeks, and grips tight to his shirt.

"Daddy's the best." She says. "Daddy's my hero."

Harry's heart swells and he sponges a kiss to her hair. "And you're my best girl, Evvy." 

Eva giggles. "Thank you daddy. Good doctor." She's speaking carefully, as if she knows if she doesn't her teeth will ache, and Harry picks her up, walks to the bathroom. 

"I'm glad, now how about we put more medicine on your teeth, hm? The one that tastes like grape and makes your mouth feel fuzzy."

+

Eva's tooth aches stop in a few days, and she shows her teeth off proudly now to her daddy, and her Uncle Zayn, Uncle Niall, and Uncle Louis. They all coo and fawn over her and at how big she's getting, because Louis has this incredible ability to be an infuriating little brat, he says "Soon you'll be big enough to like boys!"

And Eva says "Boys are cute. Zayn's a boy. I like Zayn." 

Harry's heart lurches because Eva isn't even two yet and she thinks that boys are cute when she's meant to think that they have cooties and diseases and call them icky.

Harry chases Louis around the flat with a plunger, just for good measure.

+ 

"I'm Liam, by the way. Liam Payne." Liam says on Monday.

Harry looks up from his iPad and gives a wide smile. He can feel his heart beating through his rib cage.

"I'm Harry. Harry Styles. Nice to meet you, Liam."

Liam sits next to him and pulls out his MacBook, shrugs his shoulders. "I figured I sat next to you enough to be on a first name basis by now."

Harry laughs, hopes it sounds normal. "That makes sense. Besides, we all need new friends."

For the rest of class, they laugh under their breaths about how eccentric Dermot is about Hester Prynne and Reverend Dimmesdale, and Harry momentarily gets lost in Liam's stubble, his eyes, the way his skin looks so soft and how Harry is so tempted to touch. He's lost in their little world. 

Which is extremely, extremely little. 

+ 

That afternoon, Liam is jolted awake from a nap when he lands back first onto his bedroom floor, and his bare torso hits the cold hardwood.  

When he opens his eyes, Louis is laying on his belly on Liam's bed, head dangling off the side to peer down with a scrutinizing look. "Since when do you nap on the floor, Liam? Did Dubai teach you that?"

"No, you did." Liam grumbles, sitting up slowly. If he has a concussion or bruises he might enlist the help of Zayn for revenge.

"When ever did I teach you that?"

"When you started kicking in your sleep."  

They'd been studying and doing homework all afternoon when Liam dropped his head to his pillow and decided to nap, Louis following suit soon after. He hadn't exactly spent quality time with Louis in a long while, and even if he misses him, he doesn't exactly miss being shoved out of bed because Louis thinks he's small in his sleep.  

Louis hums for a moment, and Liam reacts too late from exhaustion and ends up getting the wind knocked out of him when Louis lands right onto his gut. "I'm hungry, Liam. I want coffee and a honey ball."

"What the hell is a honey ball?"

"It's a ball of dough that tastes like honey. Duh. Catch up Liam, now let's go!"

Louis ends up dragging him out into the rain and they walk down the block to Paraphernalia Cafe, a place that Liam hasn't exactly been all that familiar with. It's more of Zayn's place. Artsy, hipster, comfortable. Not exactly something that Liam would indulge in. Although he wouldn't mind being a regular at Sara Cafe, but that's different.

On the walk, Louis won't make small talk, won't say anything at all actually and that's Liam's first red flag. The second is the way that Louis keeps his grip tight around Liam's wrist as he tugs him down the sidewalk. And the third is the mischievous grin that graces his lips before he turns his face away and out of Liam's eyesight.  

When it clicks, he yanks his arm out of the tight grip and stops, ignoring the rain that's making his coat feel heavier then it should. "I thought I said I didn't want to be set up with your little friend." 

Louis scoffs, indignant. "I just want a honeyball and tea, Liam."

"A few minutes ago you said coffee." 

"Well I've changed my mind. Now come on!"

"I'm not going just so you can set me up." Liam says firmly. "I said that I was fine, Louis."

But he doesn't listen, dragging Liam the rest of the way. Louis is stronger than Liam remembers - each time he attempted to dig his heels into the pavement and draw back, Louis only tugged harder, grip getting tighter and tighter ("oh honestly Liam, when did you become such a child?!")

When they finally make it inside, Liam spots a familiar face at the counter and rips his arm away, rushing to the counter as quick as he can.

"Harry!"

"Harry!"

And what? 

Louis and Liam both freeze, staring at each other with matching incredulous expressions. Harry watches them from the counter, an amused smirk playing on his lips. He looks pleasant to see Liam. "I've never felt so wanted before."

"You know Harry?" Louis questions.

Liam nods. "We have a lesson together. Dermot's class."

"I don't like being talked about like I'm not here." Harry says, leaning against the counter.

"Sorry about Louis," Liam tells him.

"Funny," Harry replies, twinkle in his eyes. "I'm usually the one telling that to people."

Louis is quiet, leaves them to order his food from Eleanor. "How do you know Louis?" Liam asks.

"He moved in with me and my friend Zayn awhile ago. He's a right menace, but a great friend. What about you?" 

"I've known him since we were five. Zayn too." 

Harry laughs loudly. "So _you're_ the friend they keep talking about! The one who moved back from Dubai?"

Liam tries not to wince, wonders absently how much Zayn and Louis may have told him. "Guilty. And you must be H. I suppose you know Niall as well, then?" 

"You're all a package deal, aren't you?" Harry jests, eyes wide and inviting.

Liam shrugs, "Looks like our friendship must continue out of class, Mr. Styles."

"As long as you agree to pick up half of Louis's messes." 

Louis gapes at them, "I'm not that bad!"

"Yes, actually. You are." Harry insists.

+

And just like that, Harry gets submerged into Liam's world. He knows now that the boys have told Harry about Dubai, but Harry won't push, doesn't even bring it up and if he even wants to know, he won't say.

They also don't mention the fact that Louis, Zayn, and Niall have been persistently trying to set the two of them up since Liam's return.

The next morning in class, when Liam greets Harry, it's with a warm smile and a strong sense of familiarity and comfort, more than before. He feels like he's greeting Zayn, almost. Then on Friday, they're greeting each other with the question of whether or not they'll attend Niall's party Saturday night.

("Nah, I'm busy." Liam says, which isn't true. He just feels drained.

"Me too, have to, uh, take care of some things." Harry says.)

But because Niall's persistent and has learned to make Liam say yes without actually saying it, Liam ends up in the middle of Niall and Josh's flat with a beer in his hand and a frown on his face.

"Where's Harry?" He says to Zayn.

Zayn only smirks. "Thought you didn't want to be set up."

"I don't. I'm just wondering why he didn't get begged into this like I did."

"Because," Zayn says. "He's busy."

Liam hates vague answers.

+

"You can't catch me daddy!"

Harry laughs at Eva as she toddles around, running as fast as her little legs can carry her. He lets her get ahead, lets her think she won't be caught as he stomps around behind her.

"I'm gonna get you Evvy!" he taunts, taking wide giant steps. "Fee, fi, fo, fum, Evvy's gonna get tickled if she doesn't run!"

With a shriek, Eva takes off again, jumping all over the living room in an attempt to escape her father. Harry thinks maybe another hour of play, and he can put her to bed at ten. He knows that's way too late for a child her age to be up, but it's a weekend. Plus, Gemma's coming tomorrow, and she won't be here till the afternoon anyhow.

Eva's hiding behind the loveseat, thinks Harry hasn't seen her, but he sneaks up from behind and scoops her into his arms, blowing a raspberry on her belly. She giggles, batting him away before curling into his embrace.

"Got you!" He cheers, "Daddy got you!" Harry adjusts her so that she's on his hip, bouncing her as they go into the kitchen. "Now, how about milk? That sounds good, right?"

And after two bottles and her bath, Eva finally settles down. She sleeps with Harry again, curled up on his chest. Harry sings Eva her special lullaby he made when she was three weeks old, too fussy to care about who got sleep and when. He remembers cradling her in his arms, bouncing her lightly and whispering to keep Cara asleep. It's not his best and it's not creative, but he figures it's the sentiment that matters most.

_"Oh precious little Eva Mae_

_She's my baby girl_

_How I love you so_

_You're my baby girl."_

+

"Eva honey, shhh," Harry tries feebly. "Not so loud, Louis and Zayn are feeling poorly this morning."

Eva quickly quiets down, holding a finger to her lips as she giggles with her aunt. "Shhh Aunty Gemma, Unca's sore."

"Very sore," Gemma agrees, "But very silly. What time did they get in last night anyhow?"

"Late for all I know. Niall's parties always get a bit out of hand." Harry says, grabbing the fixings for lemon and ginger tea.

"Party? Birfday?" Eva questions.

"No sweetie. It's no one's birthday." Gemma reassures, kissing her forehead. "You look just like your daddy!"

Harry's heart swells. "She'd very well better. I gave her all the best traits."

"Mum thinks she ought to get a place in London. Says she could help you and Eva out so that Louis, Zayn, and Niall won't have to." 

Harry blanches. "No, absolutely not. Well I mean, it would be nice but, the timing is all wrong. Is Robin indulging her on this? Are you?"

"Not so much this. I think I'm indulging the boys more on their friend they keep pushing on you. What's his name...Liam?" Gemma teases.

A flash of a smile that reaches brown crinkling eyes crosses his mind. Harry hopes that he schools his look in time. "I think he's a nice friend, and I think that if you're going to continue to gossip with Louis I'll have to withhold Eva from you."

"I'd tell mum." Gemma threatens.

"Daddy, can I go wake up Louis?" Eva asks, already climbing down from Gemma's lap. She takes off the moment Harry says yes.

"He could be good for Eva, you know. Another parental figure." His sister tells him, going to make herself a cuppa.

"I think we're fine, Gemma." He murmurs with a frown. He'd love to have Liam around...but as a parent? Eh. That's...unforeseeable.

"Hey, no shit, I - Harry I didn't mean it that way. Eva's great, you've done so well with her. But just, don't you think she might need another parent? Isn't it getting a little hard?"

"Mum didn't need another parent with us growing up when dad left. And besides, I've got the boys. Lou and Tom take her out with Lux for play-dates whenever I need them to. And she's going to daycare. Eva and I are doing good on our own."

There's a slight silence, and Harry thinks they've finished when

"But what about you? Maybe Eva doesn't need another parent, but don't you need someone too?"

He sighs. "I have Eva, I don't need someone else-"

"But don't you want someone else?"

"-And the only way I could have someone else again is if they liked Eva and she liked them too. But these days? That's a long shot."

"Maybe Liam-"

"He doesn't know about Eva. And he won't. Maybe he will if he starts hanging out with us, but other than that, he won't. I'm fine Gemma, really, I don't need to be in love to be happy."

She sighs, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know, I'm just trying to make sure that you're happy."

"And I am. I have my daughter, don't I? I'm set for life."

They both give agreeing smiles, Gemma's more in understanding when they hear a groan approaching the kitchen. Louis comes in with Eva on his back, his hair a total mess and face in a frown.

"Harry if I didn't love her so much, I'd poison your tea."

+

"Hey Harry." Liam greets, sliding into his seat.

Harry gives as warm of a smile he can manage, trying not to look so worn out. He loves seeing Liam in class, likes seeing his face in the mornings, it's just, this morning is a little different. Eva whined for Harry when he left for class. Louis, Zayn, and Gemma were going to spend the day with her at home, but with that many people, Eva had assumed they were all staying home. Harry wanted to stay, but if he skipped, Gemma would tell their mum and he really didn't feel like getting lectured.

Apparently his smile doesn't work. "You okay? You look a little upset."

"Yeah, I guess. It's just...my older sister is in town and things are a little uh, busy? I guess? At the house."

"Aw, I know that feeling. I've got two older sisters." Liam sympathizes, resting a hand on Harry's shoulder.

His skin burns pleasantly at the touch. "You're the baby, too?"

"Oh yeah, and they're the worst. It's like they're a tag team of sorts. They bullied me into all kinds of stuff." Liam tries to look irritated, but Harry can see the feeling of fondness at the mention of them. It's the sibling way.

"Bet they don't visit you as often as Gemma does me." He says.

"Ruth and Nicola? Nah. They gave me space once I grew up and moved out. When I go home for hols though, they pester me about anything and everything." 

Harry sighs, lowering his voice as Dermot starts. "I love Gemma, I do, but she's so much energy, you know? I have to put her with Louis so they can wear each other out."

"Sounds like you need a break."

"Eh, yes and no."

Liam smiles gently. He seems hesitant. "Make it yes. I have another class after this, but after that I was gonna grab a bite to eat. You wanna come with? Escape your sister for a bit. Louis and Zayn can entertain her, right?"

Harry wants to say no. He doesn't have work tonight, but after his next class he has to get back to Eva as quick as he possibly can, but "Yeah, sure."

Liam smiles warmly at him, and pulls something out of his pocket. He slides it in front of Harry. "Put your number in. I'll text you, yeah? When I'm headed over to the bistro."

He's shocked, to say the least. First at how easy he and Liam fit, and the second at his request. It's not like Liam's asking him on a date, is he? It's just lunch between two mates. Never mind that Harry thinks he's fit. He finds himself putting his number in anyway, sliding it back to Liam.

After Dermot's class, Harry spaces through his sociology class and on the way home. Eva leaps into his arms the moment he's through the door, holding him tight.

"Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" She cheers. Harry gawks at the mess.

"Yes I am, and it looks like you played with _all_ of your toys today. And you painted with Zayn?"

Eva's toys are _everywhere_. Sprawled out like they just exploded straight from her toy box. The painting set Zayn bought her when she was old enough to hold the paintbrush on her own is in the middle of it, cup of water a pinkish purple, multiple pages with scribbles and doodles of all kinds.

"Zayn's good at painting daddy." Eva says. She wriggles down and toddles over to where Zayn is napping on his recliner, and clambers into his lap. In his sleep, Zayn seems to have a sixth sense for Eva, and wraps his arms around her, cuddling her close.

Gemma smiles from the couch, her feet in Louis's lap. "She's an angel, H, which is more than I can say about you when you were this young."

Harry bends down, picking up as many toys as he can. "You just hated that I became the cute one in the family."

"You're both cute." Louis grumbles. "Now stop it. You know how much bickering siblings irritates me."

Harry's phone vibrates from his pocket, and his stomach drops to his feet.

**_hi harry its liam , still up for lnch ?_ **

He groans. If he leaves now, Eva will throw a fit and the boys and Gemma are going to pester him about a date that is not a fucking date.

_Hiii, can't make it anymore. I'm sorry, my sister's being a pest..xx_

The response comes in immediately.

**_oh noooo , do u need me to rscue u?!? i almost did trainin to b a fireman !_ **

_No, I'll be fine, thanks. You know for someone who gets good grades in Dermot's you don't spell very well.._

_**oh hush u , i spell fineeeee . gud lck with ur sister ! soz u cant make it !** _

_Me too..xx_

"Daddy, hungry! Chicken?"

Harry smiles. "Sure Evvy, we can have chicken."

+

**_"do u knw wht it feels likeeeee"_ **

Harry laughs, voice sleep strained and one eye open at the screen. It's not that late into the evening, but he was definitely asleep, trying to get an early night's rest while Zayn and Gemma watched Eva. Not that he isn't happy to be talking to Liam anyhow.

_Are you trying to serenade me Liam? Cause I don't like Enrique..._

The reply comes immediately.

_**sozzz babs wee bit drunkkk >_<** _

_I can see that. And Babs? Are you trying to call me Barbara?_

_**oh barbaraaa , ;D** _

_I knew a Barbara, she was a regular at the bakery I worked at when I was 16. She used to pinch my bum every Saturday._

_**pinch dont cover it, u need a spanking :P** _

_Liam Payne! I am disappointed in you. :(_

_**nooo soz pls dnt be mad @ me** _

_I'm not, you're just drunk..._

_**can i be undrunk** _

_Isn't Louis with you?_

_**LOUEHHH** _

_Ha! Good night Liam. xx_

+

When Liam is sober enough, he apologizes profusely, but Harry insists that it was alright. They text quite often after that (funny things, stupid things about the boys, homework, work) and Harry gets that stupid fluttering feeling when Liam's name is at the top of the notification box for his text messages. 

He's home alone with Eva one day after his shift at work, and she's napping quietly on his chest while they talk about the book Dermot is making them read.

_**i dont get why anahita's dad is such a douche** _

_He isn't a douche Liam. He's protective of his daughter._

_**more like protective of his stupid dowry** _

_It's not exactly a modern day romance you know. Dowry's are important to them._

_**why is it always about money ? nd her dad is still a douche** _

_It's just a book, Liam. And sometimes to be a dad you can't always do the right thing. Sometimes to protect your family you have to be the bad guy._

_**you seem to know a lot about dadsss** _

Harry's heart stutters and he nearly drops his phone on Eva's belly. Liam can't know. Can he? Niall runs his mouth but he doesn't tell secrets. And Louis blabs about a lot but he wouldn't blab to Liam about this. Zayn just flat out wouldn't tell. Not that Eva is a secret, it's just...well, she's his daughter, and he'll protect her, keep her from people until he's sure they're okay or until she's old enough to judge for herself. Whichever comes first.

_Nah, just a big family man._

There. Settled.

_**haha youre cute** _

And okay. Now Harry doesn't know what to do, because he was never good with things like this. Is it flirting? Is it a joke? Is he over thinking? Maybe Liam's just too nice. Maybe he's jumping to conclusions again and oh fuck. 

"Here we go again." Harry whispers. He sends Liam "Ta very much x" and puts Eva in her room.

+

_"Don't make this harder than it has to be, Liam."_

Liam bolts upright, can feel the sheen of sweat on his body and the pounding of his heart like it's going to rip out of his chest and run away. It might have already, he isn't sure. He can still hear Andy's voice, the reverb of his deep tone, his intimidating bravado making it all the more heartbreaking. With careful steps, Liam ignores the freezing cold of his hardwood floors and the rush of the air conditioning against his bare torso, determined to get down to the kitchen and make himself tea.

Except when he gets there, he forgoes the tea completely. He grabs a spoon from the drawer - the Batman one Zayn bought him, not the Toy Story one Louis got or the Ironman one that Niall got. Because desperate times call for desperate measures - and yanks open the freezer, grabbing the tub of chocolate swirl ice cream and ripping the lid off. The carton has what looks to be only two scoops taken out, from when Liam allowed himself two scoops after cranking out a fifteen page essay on the Cask of Amontillado and it's essence of insanity and betrayal in one night. 

He starts shoveling the ice cream into his mouth, allowing the heat of his tongue and cheeks to melt the liquid down before another spoonful makes its way in. He can feel hot tears welling, and the wave of nostalgia hits him like a freight train. 

Liam remembers it all too vividly. The build up. The stupidity he felt when he thought he should've seen it coming. How even with the build up, the whole situation still blindsided him anyhow. He can remember the passive aggressive comments, the little jabs or hints here and there, and then the killshot, the one that left him feeling like he should be dead anyhow if he's supposed to be alive but feels this empty. 

After the concert ticket incident, he and Andy had the most amazing week full of make up sex, romantic dinners, and it almost felt like they were back at the very start, blushing and nervous and unsure, fumbling for the right words and hoping that they kissed just right. Liam was looking forward to being in Dubai for as long as they both pleased. Liam started work as a fitness trainer at a local gym and Andy was busy being a party promoter and part club owner. 

He thought things were okay. And he should've known better.

Liam had called Andy when he was scheduled to get out of a meeting about opening another club, told Andy that he had a client who was running late and that Liam had to take a rain check on dinner that night. It was just natural that he thought Andy would flip out, but he didn't.

"No, I understand babe." Andy had said. "I had a pretty hectic day too. It happens sometimes yeah? Take your time. I'll be at the club with Henry if you need me. I love you."

And after Liam's client finally left, it was maybe an hour and a half past their planned dinner, and all Liam wanted was to go home, bask in the freezing temperatures of their apartment, and maybe, just maybe, blow Andy on the couch. 

But when he got home, someone was already doing just that. 

A _girl_ , someone. Which thew Liam for a curve ball because as far as he knew Andy was totally into penises. Hell, he even went so far as to say he wouldn't touch it if it had boobs and a vagina.

It scared Liam out of his wits and he dropped everything in his hands and slammed the door on their shocked faces, trudging back out into the heat of the night. He walked the streets for hours, the tears on his face barely dry before new ones could retrace their paths. And when he got home, Andy was wide awake, waiting by the doorway and the girl he had was long gone.

Andy cried too, that day. Because he thought that he lost Liam, thought that Liam had gotten hurt because he'd never just disappeared like that, with or without reason. Liam felt disgusting. After he showered and changed into clothes that he made sure were never shared between him and Andy, they sat down and talked it out. 

Andy claimed he was having a sexuality crisis. That he wasn't sure if he was just into guys anymore and that he just wanted to find out, didn't mean to harm Liam and that the girl meant nothing. That the girl was just a club regular who thought Andy was always bluffing when he said that Liam was his boyfriend and that he knew she would be ready and willing. 

Liam thought about ending it that day, because really, three months into living in Dubai and it's already shit. But Andy begged, and begged, and begged, and Liam said okay. Liam said he wouldn't leave. Liam said he believed Andy and that he would help Andy through whatever kind of sexuality crisis this was. Liam said he loved Andy and Andy said it back.

But it just didn't stop. Andy started to use this "crisis" as an excuse. It was like Liam was just watching Andy cheat on him right before his eyes and allowing it.

Actually, that's exactly what it was.

Guy or girl, Andy would make out with them, probably would have fucked them all if Liam didn't step in and draw the line. And when Andy suggested a threesome Liam put a stop to all of it because Andy was _his_ boyfriend, and Liam was not going to be apart of some experiment. He begged Andy to just stop with this, try monogamy again, to quit fucking with Liam's head and Andy agreed. Said he was so sorry and should've known how badly it was affecting their relationship.

Except he wasn't very sorry, because a week later Liam was doing laundry and found pants in the hamper. Now, what's wrong with that? 

The pants were y-fronts. And Liam and Andy don't wear y-fronts. And even if Andy started, they would have to be a large - what with his muscly physique and all - and the y-fronts Liam found were a small.

Liam put them away, hid them in a place where Andy wouldn't be able to locate them. And three days after he found them, their neighbor from downstairs, Caspar, a Uni student studying abroad, who Liam had only seen once or twice before, came by and asked if Andy was home. Liam said no, and Caspar said 

"Oh, well, did you find a pair of y-fronts? Andy invited me for lunch the other day and we kind of, you know. Sorry, you're his brother right? You probably don't want to hear about this."

Liam blinked. "Nope, no y-fronts," and he rushed out a goodbye and shut the door. And when he confronted Andy about it - confronting meaning throwing the fucking y-fronts in Andy's bewildered face - it just got worse.

From then on, Liam found three thongs, a g string, two pairs of pink boxers, and remnants of a candy thong. Andy slept in their room and Liam slept in the spare room, and they didn't kiss, didn't touch, just moved around each other like they had no choice - planets forced to orbit around each other for some unknown sake.

But Liam still loved him, and whenever it was a good day, he would try, he would try to make it work and try to keep them afloat because what couple doesn't have a rough patch?

And his efforts fell short.

The day of, Liam had woken up too hot and with a headache. He showered and got dressed and went to work, sweat his way through the day yearning for an ice bath and the comfort of his own bed, and close to tears with how tired and hungry he was. And when he got home, Andy was dressed in sweats and a tank, his newly cut hair disheveled, tears streaming down his face and a sad, sad frown.

Liam just knew.

Liam's suitcases, and boxes labeled with Liam's name on them, rested at Andy's feet. "Please Liam," Andy had begged. "There's another apartment downstairs. It's a one bedroom and it's perfect for you. I'll pay for it, okay? I'll pay for it, I swear but-"

"What did I do wrong?" Liam choked out, lip trembling. He was trying so hard not to cry but fuck all. The man he loved was dumping him and kicking him out. After everything Liam put himself through to try and make it work, and this happens.

"Don't." Andy pleaded. "Don't make this harder than it has to be, Liam."

So Liam went. Lasted two weeks in the new one bedroom apartment before his own mind claimed his every decision. His every breath. And when he realized that this is how it's ending, how it will always end, he knew what he needed to do.

Run.

He called his old landlord and said he'd be moving back into the place that he never actually moved out of - the apartment he and Andy left behind should they need to go back to London. He told his landlord that he was taking Andy's name off the lease, that it was just Liam's place now.

He quit his job at the gym in Dubai and called his old boss Mark back, said that he'd be coming back to the UFC gym full time. Liam called his family and shipped his boxes back to his place, bought a plane ticket, buzzed his hair off, and left the heat behind him. 

Andy had no idea that he left. And why would he? And why should he know? He lost that right when he lost Liam. 

_"Don't make this harder than it has to be, Liam."_

Liam blanches, heading for the kitchen sink and allowing the ice cream to travel back up and into the drain, running the faucet until it's all gone. He glances back at the tub, and to his suspicion, it's empty.

Fuck. He's going to have to run at least seven miles in the morning to get rid of that crap.

The first thing he does is run upstairs and take all the old sheets and bedding off and throw them right into the garbage. He flips the mattress over and takes out the spare bedding Niall had bought him, and gets to setting up the bed. Once he's done, he takes out a box and starts packing all of Andy's things into it - his clothes, shoes, anything and everything and shoves it outside with the old bedding for trash pick up.

Straight to the dump, like their relationship.

Nineteen months with Andy in total. A year of that good, and the last seven total shit. But it's been two months since he's been home anyhow, he should be ready to move on, right?

Right. So he will. Starting tomorrow...after his run.

+

After Andy, Liam figured the only people that he could ever trust again were his parents, his sisters, and the boys. Yet, he's beginning to wonder why he accepts Harry so easily.

After his morning run, and his shower, and nearly freezing his nose off walking to class, Harry greets him with a wide mouth open in shock as opposed to his normal smile.

"Jesus Liam, it's like below freezing outside, what the hell are you doing in such a thin coat? Here." Harry reaches into his rucksack and pulls out a thick brown jumper, tossing it at Liam. He immediately sheds his thin coat and tugs the jumper on over his raglan tee, melting at the warmth. It smells like Bleu de Chanel, cinnamon, and a slight hint of...baby powder?

"Thanks Hazza." The nickname slips out, but Harry doesn't seem to mind.

"No problem. Here. Take this, it's Hazelnut." Harry pushes a cardboard cup of coffee into Liam's hands, and he takes as big of a gulp as he can, never mind the burn on his tongue. "I brewed it myself yesterday, grabbed a cup from Paraphernalia this morning on my way. Had I known you'd be this cold, I would've bought a large."

"It's fine, thank you." Liam gets out, trying to speak around his shivering. He must not do too well, because Harry shakes his head and tuts, scooting closer to Liam on the bench and wrapping an arm around him, pulling Liam flush into Harry's side.

"It's nearly the start of October, Liam, in London." Harry murmurs, over Dermot's declaration of the start of class. "Can't have Dubai weather all the time."

No, he thinks. You really can't.

+

The next cold day of class, Liam accidentally comes underdressed, but Harry shows up with two coffees and his jumper for Liam again, with a spare scarf and beanie in his bag just incase. 

"Can't have you freeze, now can we? I don't like losing friends to hypothermia." Harry jokes.

Liam's heart swells. He takes a sip of his coffee before setting it on his desk and shrugging into the brown jumper. When the warmth washes over, Liam settles into his side again easily. "You're the best, Haz."

Harry smiles. "I do try." His hands rub gentle circles on Liam's shoulder, and they sit through the movie version of the Raven in warm silence. They sip their coffee and settle in on the bench, and if Liam forgets to give Harry his jumper back before class ends, he swears it isn't on purpose.

And if after he showers and changes into his pajamas, he happens to sleep with the jumper resting on his pillow, no one has to know.

+ 

_You took my jumper :(_

_**arnt you at work mister ?** _

_Don't change the subject! You took my jumper :(((((_

_**soz babs, u want it bck ?** _

_Hm, no. I suppose you should keep it for the winter, since you always seem to be underdressed._

_**i guess it takes too much effort to put on that many clothess** _

_Don't lie, you just like the way I smell._

_**howd u know?** _

_You're an open book. Do anything for a Harry Styles cuddle, eh Liam?_

_**guiltyyy, u can be my hug dealer** _

_Ta for that. I'd be honoured.xx_

+

Granted, it's the first party Harry's been to in a long time. Actually, the only party he's been to since Eva was born. Christmas and New Year's Eve he spent with Cara and Eva, doing semi-normal family things. His birthday was a quiet affair, and everyone else's birthdays were quiet get togethers as well. 

He isn't exactly sure if he can hold his own the way he used to.

Because it's a Halloween party, Louis refuses to go with Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Harry if they aren't dressed up. So Liam goes as Batman, Zayn as Ironman, Niall as Thor, Louis as Peter Pan, and Harry as Mickey Mouse. He had to buy the ears and yellow shoes from a costume shop, the white button up and black blazer something he already owned, and Louis was happy to lend him spectacularly red trousers.

"I hate dressing up." He says, and Niall laughs in his face.

"Tough mate. Shouldn't have left Louis home with Gemma. You know how keen she is on you catching a break." 

It's true. When Gemma came to visit, Louis had told her about the Halloween party Josh and Joey throw every first weekend of the month of October, and she immediately offered to babysit Eva while Harry went out and had "some fun." In which of course, Harry had no say once Gemma pulled her phone out and threatened to dial their mother.

"I feel like a knob." Harry says, adjusting the ears and Niall rolls his eyes.

"Relax dude. Eva is at home, you're here, and you have everyone's permission to get ridiculously drunk. So do it. Here, drink this pint and shut up."

Niall shoves a red solo cup into Harry's hands and levels him with a look that Harry knows means business. He necks it back as best as he can, trying to keep it all going down his throat and not the front of his shirt.

"Heavyweight are you then?" 

Harry turns, smiles brightly at Liam and whoa "Where the hell did you get that costume from?! It looks so real!"

The Batman costume looks expensive, but like Christian Bale wore it himself. Liam looks smug, and Harry giggles when he puffs his chest out and gives a stern look. "Thanks. Took me forever to save up for it."

He looks Liam over from head to toe, and laughs because "Is that a pocket for your dick?"

Liam has no shame in removing the Velcro patch, revealing a zipper. "It's for easy access."

"Presumptuous." Harry teases, and Liam frowns, removing his mask. 

Niall snorts. "Relax Payne, you look hot. Now do me a favor, yeah? Get Styles drunk. It's been awhile since he's loosened up."

Liam gives Harry a wicked grin, and Harry takes a step back. "Batman is supposed to help the citizens, not encourage negative behavior."

"I think an exception can be made." Liam leers, and tugs Harry to the kitchen.

+

Haze. Everything is haze and Harry can't see straight. He feels like he's talking too fast but like he's moving too slow, and his head feels detached from his shoulders. But Liam is there, holding on to him. They're out on the balcony, the cold air whipping at their faces. Harry remembers the first day he heard Liam's voice, how he thought Liam was so fit. He should tell him he's fit.

He's going to tell him.

"Liammm." Harry slurs, clutching onto his biceps.

"Hazza." He says back, and Harry boops his nose. Liam looks like he's going to sneeze.

"You think I'm cute." He tells Liam, and Liam blinks, then let's out a giggle.

"Nooo, I-"

"Yes you do! You dooo! You said 'haha you're cute' to me, you think I'm cute!"

Liam laughs. "Harry," he says, dragging out the vowel. "I like your jumper."

"But 'm not wearing one Liam."

"I meant the one you gave me, the one I nicked. Smells nice."

Harry giggles. "You smell nice. Manly. Manly Liam smell."

"We're so drunk Hazza." Liam laughs, and Harry buries his face in the crook of Liam's neck. Liam can feel the heat from Harry's cheeks, and Harry licks at his neck.

"Like it when you call me that, Hazza. 'S nice." Harry murmurs, and leans back. His eyes flutter shut when Liam's hand pushes his fringe off of his forehead, keeping the ears in place.

"You make a pretty Mickey." Liam mutters, leaning forward. Their foreheads press together and Harry blushes.

"Hey Mickey?" He says, and Liam shakes his head.

"No, you're Mickey." It's clear that Liam's a little sober now, not enough to count but enough to register. And Harry is too, looking at Liam wide eyed and all kinds of willing. 

Harry hums, leaning up into Liam's touch. "You think I'm cute."

Liam nods. "I do."

"I think you're fit." And yep, he's said it now.

Liam blinks, then leans forward, leaving enough room for Harry to push him away, but he doesn't. Harry pushes forward, wraps his arms are Liam's middle and crashes their lips together, moving against Liam slowly and as soft as he can manage when he's this pissed. It's been awhile since either of them have kissed someone, not that the other would know. Liam's hand moves from Harry's fringe to the hair before the nape of his neck and his scratches lightly, tugging when Harry bites down on his lip.

Harry moans at the pull, and Liam takes the opportunity to lick into his mouth, finding Harry's tongue and massaging it gently. They kiss for another heated moment, and when Liam pulls away, Harry blinks at him, completely dazed and enthralled.

"Better than any Halloween candy I've ever tasted." Harry declares, thumbing at the Velcro of Liam's costume. "Mickey Mouse kissing Batman. Who knew?"

Liam beams, pulling him back in for another kiss.

+

Harry is filled with joy when they kiss again in the morning after they all decided to crash at Niall's place. Liam and Harry kissed for most of the night, the other boys making vomiting noises - Liam and Harry would rather not know if they were real - and fell asleep with their hands intertwined, boxer clad and on the couch. 

After the house awakes with groans and protests of hangovers and they've all scrubbed the taste of bile and tequila out of their mouths, Liam corners Harry in the hallway and drags him into Niall's room, pressing him up against the door and proceeding to kiss Harry with as much fervor and desire as he can in this state.

"Is this weird?" Liam asks him, peppering kisses down his jawline.

"Eh, I've had weirder." Harry tells him, fingers dancing on Liam's forearms. 

Liam frowns. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" 

"I don't know, you asked."

"You talk too much."

"Fix it then." Is Liam's challenge, and he does, shuts Harry up by occupying his lips until they're red and numb.

+

"You slept with him."

"Gemma!" 

Harry immediately covers Eva's ears, cradling her head close to his chest as if to further block her hearing. "Watch what you say around my daughter!"

Gemma rolls her eyes, zipping up her overnight bag. "Oh really H, just relax. I only said it because you haven't stopped smiling since you walked through the door."

"I'm just happy to see Evvy. I don't like spending nights away." He presses a kiss to her hair for emphasis. Eva giggles, climbing her way onto his back.

"Yeah, okay. You suck at lying, Harry." She says. Harry gives an exasperated sigh.

"Gem, please. We just kissed. Nothing to it, okay?"

"Your mouth is saying one thing but your face says another."

He schools his look and tries to keep it firm as he says "You're devastatingly annoying. I don't know why I deal with this."

"Because you love me and you'd probably die without me." Gemma says, and Harry knows that she's just joking but it's true. He makes sure he has a good grip on Eva before he makes his way into Gemma's open arms and breathes in the familiar scent of apples and cinnamon. It's utterly Gemma, it's his sister, and it's home.

He loves his sister. He loves her so much it's unbelievable because she is the one person in the world who knows every single layer of Harry that exists, including the ones Harry has yet to be aware of. Since the day he was born she's been there and she's taken care of him, defended him, and protected him. Three year difference or not, Gemma rarely treats him like a baby brother, but more like her twin. He never could have asked for a better sibling.

When he was seven and Gemma was ten, she beat up Ryan Mason - a guy in Gemma's year at school that she had a massive crush on for two years - because Ryan made fun of Harry's new shoes and new haircut. Gemma gasped and didn't think twice about punching him in the face, then jumping on his back when he hit the ground, grabbing his shirt in one fist, his hair in the other, and making him eat dirt.

"No one makes fun of my little brother." She had shouted at him. Harry didn't care what anyone thought when he launched himself at her when she stood up, squeezing her in a bear hug and thanking her, calling her the best sister ever and that he was sorry for ruining her crush.

"He's a knob anyway H," she had said. "And crush or no crush, he doesn't get the right to bully you." 

Later that year when their parents split, they both took it hard, but when Harry cried himself to sleep at night, Gemma would wrap him in her arms and shush him, whispering stories to him quietly until sleep claimed them both. When Harry was twelve and broke up with his first girlfriend Emilie, Gemma was right there at school, in her face saying "How dare you break my brother's heart!" 

When Harry was fourteen and thought he might like boys just as much as girls, Gemma only smiled at him. "So? People are people, Harry, and love is love. There's nothing wrong with that." When he was eighteen and about to be a father, Gemma gave her full support. And when Cara left him as a single father at nearly nineteen, Gemma swore to Harry that he wasn't alone, and that if he ever needed anything, she would be there.

So yes, without her he would be a much different person. "I know, I love you Gemma. Thank you."

Gemma smiles, hugging her baby brother tightly. "I love you too, H." She glances down at Eva's smile and scrunches her face "and I love you too, Evvy."

Eva beams, giving her aunt a kiss on the cheek before she clambers off her father and toddles over to her toy chest. There's a small silence in the embrace of siblings, and Harry sighs.

"He scares me, Gemma."

"I know."

"I like him."

"I know."

"I liked kissing him, too."

"There's nothing wrong with that, Harry."

"I'm scared."

Gemma sighs, and pulls him closer. "I know, and you're gonna be. But, you just have to let it happen, okay? Let it happen and let yourself be happy. It'll work itself out."

+

_**did u do ur 12 page outline for emily dickinsonnn ?** _

_Crap, no. When is that due?_

**_in like, two days..._ **

_Dang it. I barely remember what he told us to read._

_**if u bring ur notes nd i bring the reading maybe we can finish faster ?** _

_Seriously? Liam is this your clever way of asking me on a study date?_

_**paraphernalia in an hour. bring ur notes nd ur lips ;DDD** _

_You're such a little shit. Fine..xx_

+

When Harry finally walks through the doors of Paraphernalia that afternoon, Liam already has two large hazelnut coffees ready for them, two honey balls, and a plate of fresh cookies. Liam hides behind the screen of his laptop and watches the way Harry removes his beanie and how his curls just flop down over his forehead, and how when his eyes land on Liam waiting in a booth, they light up and his smile stretches wide across his face.

Liam imagines he has much of the same look on his own face.

"Working hard already then?" Harry asks, sliding in across from him. Liam pulls his screen down a little and frowns at him. "What?" He asks, brow furrowing.

"No kiss hello? What do I need to do Styles, start a kissing booth?" Liam pouts.

Harry gapes at him. "Definitely not. Those lips are mine and mine only," and he leans forward, cupping Liam's face in his big hands, slotting their lips together and moves gently.

It's all too sweet for a Sunday afternoon, but Liam can't find it in him to care in the slightest bit. "Laying a claim on me already are you?"

"Kiss me and you're stuck with me." Harry says with a shrug, and pulls out his iPad and the rubric for their assignment. "Now, about this outline..."

They get to work quickly after that, stealing kisses between sips of coffee and bites of pastries every now and then. Liam will ask questions about the prose of some of the writings, and Harry will respond with the most accurate answer like the smartass he is, and then Liam will wipe that smug smirk off of his face by making him read a poem aloud.

_"Proud of my broken heart since thou didst break it,_

_Proud of the pain I did not feel till thee,_

_Proud of my night since thou with moons dost slake it,_

_Not to partake thy passion, my humility."_

Harry speaks slowly, enunciates each word and holds his tone firm. He's so sure of each syllable, and Liam's understanding of the selection suddenly flips and his heart feels funny.

"Now that one means that the speaker is humbled by the pain she acquired from her lost love. She looks at it as a thing to be prided in because it came from the person she loved. A little bit masochistic, but, well, you know Dickinson." Liam simply blinks at him, and a slow smile graces Harry's lips. "What? Are you writing this down, Liam? Such a shame, you're so distracted, maybe I should just-"

"You, should shut up and kiss me." Liam insists, but before Harry can even move, Liam closes the gap himself.

They don't finish even a decent portion of the outline, but with the taste of Harry still fresh on Liam's lips, he doesn't exactly care.

+ 

_Paraphernalia in twenty? Since we didn't do much yesterday. I'll bring my notes if you bring the reading. xx_  

**_ill bring my lips if u bring urs..._ **

_Perv. See youuu.._

+

"I don't understand this one." Liam whines, shoving their textbook aside and resting his head on folded arms. From where Harry's pressed into his side, he rolls his eyes and reads the poem aloud.

_"Heart, we will forget him!_

_You and I, to-night!_

_You may forget the warmth he gave,_

_I will forget the light._

 

_When you have done, pray tell me,_

_That I my thoughts may dim;_

_Haste! lest while you’re lagging,_

_I may remember him!"_  

"Liam, this one is basically saying that she is making a vow to her heart, as like a close friend, that they're going to forget the one who broke her heart. Dermot said that 'she doesn't succeed because in the process of her trying to forget, she focuses in on all the good things about him. She basically realizes they're fighting a fight that they're bound to lose and she tells her heart that they have to forget quick, since there's no other way to truly get over it."

He frowns at Harry, staring at his lips. "So you're saying that she's forcing herself into moving on?"

"Exactly," Harry says, and he sounds proud. "She doesn't want to live in that world of post-break-up forever, so she's climbing out of the hole she dug herself, and she's going to move on."

He swallows. "Sounds uh, like a good idea." Liam sits up and jots it down into the document on his laptop, trying not to let his heart hammer through his chest when he can start to feel the empathy. He types a few sentences more than necessary, and Harry has to turn his face to catch him in a kiss. 

"Pay attention to me now, okay?" Harry says, and Liam laughs, pressing a tiny kiss to his nose and pressing their bodies closer.

Moving on doesn't have to be so hard.

+

Liam feels a little reckless, but also like this is how most corny school romances go. He and Andy never did something like this, hell, he never did this when he was growing up either, but there's always a first time for everything. 

Harry had taken him by the hand when Dermot's class ended, saying they were going to celebrate finishing that damn outline, and dragged him across the building and into the English library, pulling him up the spiral metal staircase and into the back section of the reference stacks, where no one typically goes unless their search is actually _that_ specific.

Liam can feel Harry's hands shedding their rucksacks and their jackets, but can't be of much help when he's trying to focus on keeping their lips together and trying not to knock over the shelves when Harry shoves Liam against it.

"Your face is annoying," Harry says, trailing his lips along Liam's jawline.

"But you said you liked my face." He teases, fisting Harry's shirt in his hands.

"Well now I don't like it. It's being cute and it's making me upset." 

Liam snorts, tilting Harry's head down to lick into his mouth. Harry makes a noise of approval, pulling Liam's body closer to his and pressing them into the stacks at the same time. When Harry bites down on Liam's lip, a guttural moan rips through his body and Liam has to pull away.

"You're ruining me." He accuses, staring at Harry's red lips and eyes alight with wildfire - he looks absolutely dazed and Liam wants. Liam wants so bad. "What do you want from me, Harry?" And Liam is almost afraid of the answer.

But Harry kisses his lower lip, pressing their foreheads together and breathes Liam in. Harry looks like he's choked up, but he can't look away from him. "I want to know you, all of you. The good and the bad."

And Liam...Liam can do that.

+

"And where the hell have you been?" Louis shouts.

Harry winces, opening his eyes enough to peer down at Eva, still sound asleep on his torso. For all that Eva is _his_ child, she's got an attitude like Louis, an appetite like Niall, sleeping habits like Zayn, and intelligence like Gemma and Harry wonders if that's going to start being a problem.

"Louis relax, I came back in time to give her a bath, read her a story, sing her a lullaby and tuck her in. It wasn't that late. And will you be quiet? I would like my daughter to sleep in once in awhile. I think she deserves that." 

Louis narrows his eyes and points, lowering his voice (though the menacing tone doesn't waver) "Look, I'm happy that you and Liam are hitting it off, but it's upsetting that suddenly he fits into your life just as much as the rest of us, and he still doesn't know about the one thing that matters most. If you're going to keep seeing him, he needs to know that the boy he's dating is a father."

"Yeah, I get it Louis. I'll get around to it."

"Will you?" Louis challenges. "Because Liam told me about your little request in the library. About you wanting to know about all of him. And I think it's a little hypocritical of you, considering Liam knows nothing about you."

"What the honest fu-" Harry winces when he feels Eva stir, and presses a kiss to her forehead, trying to calm her in her sleep. "Louis, what has gotten into you? Liam knows me, okay?"

"He knows what you want him to know. And if you want this to work out, which I know you do, Harry, because you don't do short term or flings, he's going to have to know the truth. He's going to have to know about Eva."

"I said I get it Louis." And okay. Now Harry is getting upset.

"Are you ashamed of her? Is that what this is? Do you suddenly feel like you don't want to be a father?"

Harry moves quickly and carefully, setting Eva down in her bed, then moving across the room. He shoves Louis out into the hallway and closes Eva's door with his foot, then levels him with a glare.

"Listen, my daughter is my entire world. Understand? I am not ashamed of her, I want to be her father because that's my daughter and I love her more than life itself. My reason for keeping her from Liam is one that you know about, and that is to keep her from having people walk out of her life. You say that Liam isn't that kind of person. You say that he isn't the type to leave. Right? Well then if that's true, why'd he leave Dubai?"

Louis is silent now, and Harry is raging.

"Yeah, he told me why he left. He told me about Andy, about the shit that bastard put him through. And he told me that he couldn't handle it and he ran. Now I get it, he had every reason to run. And I understand that Liam had every right to be upset. But if he's going to run every time something like that happens, is he ever going to stay? If I tell Liam about my daughter, I'm scared that he'll jump to conclusions and leave, That he won't stick around long enough for me to tell him the truth."

"H, to me, it sounds like you're not worried about him walking out on Eva, but you're worried about him walking out on you."

Harry blinks, and the force of Louis's words cause him to stumble backwards. "Walking out on me?"

Louis nods. "Like Cara did. You're scared Liam's going to think it's too much and leave."

"Cara leaving was unfair to Eva."

"Eva doesn't even remember her! Cara doesn't call, she doesn't even stop by and check on her daughter. Eva might in the future, but she doesn't care about her leaving, _you_ do. And you care about Liam leaving you, too."

"I'm going back to Eva now." Harry says, turning his back quickly.

"It's okay to be scared, Harry. It's not okay to lie."

Harry drowns out Louis words and swallows back tears. He's wrong. He's not scared of Liam leaving. Not really. He's just scared of letting his daughter get attached to someone who's going to leave in the end.

Everyone leaves in the end.

+

_**wanna grab lunchhh ?** _

_Can't, soz. I have stuff around the house I have to get to. Next time?_

_**sure :)** _

Harry shakes his head, tossing his phone somewhere on his bed and looks at Eva. She's at his feet, resting on her belly, watching Tangled and holding her stuffed Pascal close to her chest. 

"Daddy, watch wif me?"

Harry smiles, moving to lay beside her and opens his arms when she cuddles into his side. His phone vibrates again on the bed, and Harry doesn't even bother checking, just lets it go and focuses on his daughter.

Since his conversation with Louis the other day, Harry has been couped up with Eva every chance he gets. He skipped all his classes the day after, and yesterday he "forgot" his plans to go watch a movie with Liam, settling for taking Eva out and going to the toy store. He'll regret that the next time her toys are sprawled out across the house, he knows, but at the time all he cared about was making Eva happy.

Towards the end, Eva's eyes start to droop, so Harry carries her into the kitchen and makes her a bottle of milk and bounces her in his arms, singing to her quietly. When she wakes up on the couch an hour or so later, Harry gets her dressed and they drive down to Lou's house. 

"Figured Lux would make a better play mate than I would," he tells Lou.

She only rolls her eyes. "C'mon in then you, I've got a slice of chocolate cake with your name on it."

And for the next three hours, he tells Lou all about Liam, about how his eyes make Harry melt, how his voice sends Harry into euphoria, and how when they kiss Harry can only describe it as "so right and no parts wrong."

"But the lying is wrong," Lou points out. And suddenly Harry's slice of cake tastes even more bitter than his thoughts.

+

Harry hasn't properly seen Liam in about a week maybe, and he was genuinely planning on going to dinner with Liam tonight, but Eva woke up from her nap and sicked up all over her bedsheets, and Harry refused to leave her.

"I'm helping Gemma move into her new place," is his lie to Liam. "I'm so sorry. She called me at the last second freaking out about how they called and said she had to move in this week and not in two weeks and I can't say no to her when she's all frantic like this. I'm sorry. I'll be busy for the next few days."

Liam laughs, and it sounds so reassuring it makes Harry all that more guilty. "It's okay Harry. She's your sister. I understand! Family comes first, right?"

"Haha, right." And Harry is so fucked. "Rain check maybe?"

"Do what you have to do Styles, but don't strain yourself with those chicken legs."

"Heyyy, you said you liked my legs."

"Did I? Silly me."

It's all so relaxed and lighthearted, Harry feels like a total prick when he hangs up and cuddles Eva close.

"Daddy loves you." He murmurs to her. "I'll make the icky sick go away, okay? I promise." 

+

Liam's thankful for the ability to finally go out and relax, but mostly, to get absolutely shitfaced.

"Careful with the peach Ciroc shit there, yeah Liam?" Niall says, "That stuff is proper gross."

He shrugs, watching amused as Louis and Zayn attempt to mix their fruity red drink and weird blue drink together. "So, how's Harry doing? He's been so busy these past few days."

Louis scowls. "Darling Harry is fine."

When Liam raises a brow in question, Zayn explains that "Louis is just a little cross with Harry. That's all."

"Well," Liam tries to deter, "how's the move going?" 

At that, all three boys at the table give him a look of confusion. "You know," he tries to specify, "the move with Gemma?"

And he's waiting for the big "oooooh," of recognition or the expression on their faces that signifies the familiarity of what Liam's talking about, but it doesn't come. Instead, Louis says "what move?"

And those two words are like a bullet through Liam's brain. 

Niall shakes his head. "Harry's not helping Gemma move, mate."

"She just got a new place like a month ago, she isn't moving again." Zayn adds.

"Never mind, I must've confused him with someone else." He says hurriedly. "Who's up for a round of shots?"

+

**_meet me in the reference stacks, ive got a surprise for youuu ;D_ **

_Yayyy! I'll be there in 2..xx_

Liam tries to scoff and swallow back the bile in his throat at the same time and a choked sound escapes him instead. There are too many emotions running through his mind, but the ones that sting the most are the familiar feelings of betrayal and deceit. Just when he decided it was safe to move on, that it was safe to try and move on with Harry, it all backfires on him.

He thought Harry would never lie to him, especially after Liam told him everything about him and Andy and Dubai. He spilt his guts to Harry, and yet he still lied. If every guy he meets after this has to undergo a polygraph to just prove their sincerity to Liam, then so be it.

Liam's just hoping there's a reasonable explanation for it all.

"I've been wanting to kiss you all day." Comes Harry's whisper from behind, and Liam turns on him, eyes narrowed and fists at the ready.

"You lied to me." He's going to keep this short, sweet, and to the point. He's learned through experience that it's the best method for confrontation.

Harry blinks at him, stumbling back a little. "Pardon?" 

"Don't give me that bullshit, Harry. I know you weren't helping Gemma move, so where were you?"

"Yes I was, Liam." Harry insists. 

Liam laughs right in his face. "I asked the boys about it. They didn't even have a clue. They said Gemma just moved not too long ago, and that she isn't moving again. You lied Harry. And you just lied again, straight to my face."

He can see Harry's expression change completely, and he knows that Liam's made him. "Liam, I can explain, I-"

"Save it." Liam bites, and turns to leave. Harry follows him, catching his wrist and spinning him around.

"Liam, wait! I swear I have a good reason."

"Oh? Then what reason is that?"

Harry looks right into Liam's eyes, and when Liam has to look away because it just _hurts_ too much, Harry sighs. "You just don't understand. You wouldn't understand Liam."

And what? That's just..."No Harry. I understand. I understand just fine. I understand that you just don't think I'm worth the truth. And you know who else thought I wasn't worth the truth? Andy. You're just like him. After you kissed me and told me I had nothing to worry about, that you wouldn't be like him, you turn out to be exactly like Andy. A liar."

"No," Harry frowns, "No, Liam. Don't say that. You don't mean it." The whine in his voice makes Liam stop, and Harry inches closer. He tries to lean in, tighten his grip on Liam's wrist as he goes in for a kiss, but Liam tears himself away.

"I do mean it Harry. You're no different. And I should've known better than to think you were."

And for the second time, it feels good to be the one to run away.

+

It's really no surprise to Harry when things go to shit. They always seem to with his luck. They haven't kissed since the day Liam confronted him about the lie. And that's alright with Harry. As fit as Liam is and as much as Harry wants to kiss him every chance he gets, he knows better. He knows that Liam needs space. And he knows by now that not exactly everything can last forever, no matter how much he wants it to. 

He just...wishes that Liam understood the situation, that he didn't just assume Harry was just like Andy, which felt like a shot to the heart. Like, Harry gets that Liam's hurt. It's been a bit since he's been back and yeah, from what Harry understands, running from Dubai is a pretty big deal but.

Harry is a little bitter. Kissing and then not kissing isn't exactly something he likes. Harry is used to the idea that kissing means staying, not kissing and then walking away. Staying is good; walking away? Not something Harry is exactly fond of. He's also bitter because he's mad at himself, and well, there's nothing he can do to fix that.

When Halloween rolls around, Harry takes Eva trick or treating with Zayn, Louis, Lou, Lou's daughter Lux, and Niall, as a distraction from this stupid mess. Eva is dressed as a panda for her first official year of trick or treating, and Harry has taken so many pictures it's ridiculous. The costume itself is a onesie, fastened with three buttons in the front and the onesie comes with a hood that hold the panda ears. Lou painted on a nose and the black spots around Eva's eyes, and Eva even has Spot with her, Harry holding him incase he gets dropped or lost.

Lux is a little 80s baby, and really, Harry should have known. Her little hair is painted pink with the colored hair spray, and Lou has given Lux ruby red lips and the big hair, neon clothes and white baby Chuck Taylor's. And together, Lux and Eva sure make an interesting pair.

Lou brings Lux and Eva up to the houses, and the boys hang back at the start of the paths. Harry wishes he were up there with Eva, anything to avoid this ridiculous conversation. The boys think that if he's going to continue pursuing Liam, and if he wants Liam to forgive him, that he should tell Liam about Eva. That maybe if he does, Liam will understand why he lied.

But Harry shakes his head. "I don't think so, boys. Don't get ahead of yourselves. Not every single dad is first choice for a boyfriend you know, they normally get the boot."

Zayn frowns. "But he won't-"

"I know he won't. You think I don't know that? I know. He isn't that type of person. But she's my daughter. She's had one too many people walk out of her life and I won't add another if this goes badly."

"Liam won't walk out on you two, but do keep in mind that he just doesn't like liars." Niall whispers, and Harry huffs.

"I'm not lying alright? I mean, I did, but that was within reason. I just haven't told him yet, that's all. And besides, we're just friends." The lie feels heavy on his tongue.

"But you kissed, and-"

"Just drop it, alright Louis?" Harry bites out.

And with Eva, Lux, and Lou joining them again, they have no choice but to. Harry scoops Eva into his arms and walks ahead of the group slightly, asking Eva if she's having fun or if she likes her candies.

+

After the candy is sorted and stowed and they've both showered and changed, Harry lays in his bed with Eva resting on his chest, his arms wrapped tight around her and lips pressed to her still damp hair.

"Did you have fun tonight baby?" 

"Yes daddy, love being a panda." Eva murmurs, fisting her hands in Harry's shirt. 

"You're my favorite person in the whole wide world, Evvy. You're my pride and joy." Harry coos. "I'll always be here for you. Okay?"

"Okay. Sing daddy. Lullaby."

"Okay Evvy. I'll sing. Sleep now yeah? Daddy loves you very much."

"I love you too, daddy." 

Harry sponges a kiss to Eva's cheek, before shutting his eyes and singing her lullaby, a mantra that puts them both to sleep. 

+

So he isn't avoiding Harry, persay, he's just avoiding the temptation to back him up against a wall and snog until they can't contain themselves anymore. It's been about two weeks since the big blowout about his lie, and Liam's seen Harry enough with the boys, and in class to last him a few nights alone. He only wears Harry's jumper to bed, clutching to the material and keeping it pressed to his nose in any attempt to savor what's left of a smell that is utterly Harry. In an attempt to keep the happy memories before he lied.

Liam's only looking for bread and eggs and milk - a supermarket standard or cliche or stereotype of sorts, he thinks - when he hears it. It's a soft sniffling, and when he turns and looks down, there's a little girl there, stuffed panda clutched in her little fist, and she's crying silently, trying to seem brave when Liam can clearly see that she's scared out of her wits.

She's lost, and Liam is suddenly hit with the memory of being five and lost in a toy store, screaming out for his sisters, his mum, his dad, and clutching a Buzz Lightyear action figure in one hand, and a Batman figure in the other.

"Hey there." Liam coos, sitting down on his butt in front of her. "I'm Liam."

When she doesn't respond, he tries again. "Is that a panda? That's cool. Is it a boy or a girl?"

The little girl glances up at him through her curly dirty blonde hair, her green eyes tremendously sad. She nods though, bringing the toy into her lap. "Boy. His name is Spot."

Liam's eyes widen playfully. "No way! That's such a cool name!"

The girl gives a little sad smile. "I named him myself!"

"I'll bet you did! So why is a pretty girl like you crying, hm? What's wrong?"

For a moment, she looks down, ashamed, but when she looks back up at him, the little girl bursts into tears, with the kind of cry that sounds absolutely heart-wrenching coming from a child.

"I lost my daddy!" She wails, curling in on herself and bringing Spot to her chest. Liam's heart breaks for her.

"Well, I'll tell you what." He says gently, offering her his hand. "I'm very good at finding things, and you're very smart, aren't you?" At her nod, Liam stands, hand still out. "Well then how about you and I team up and we'll find your daddy together?"

"Team?" She says, "Supahewos?"

Liam nods seriously, "Exactly like superheroes! So what's your name, my fellow superhero?"

"Eva." She says, wiping her tears away. Instead of taking Liam's hand, she tugs on his sleeve and he picks her up willingly, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder, making him hold Spot when she circles her arms around his neck.

The supermarket lives up to its name. It's rather big, and Liam doesn't exactly know where to start. But it's clear that Eva is still distraught. "Eva what does your daddy look like?"

"Curly hair, brown, we have same eyes."

Liam starts scanning the isles, singing softly to calm Eva's sobs and rubbing her back like his mum used to do to him. As he nears the ice cream isles all the way on the other side of the store, he can hear frantic shouting.

"Eva?! Eva! Eva, baby where are you?! EVVY!"

"Daddy? DADDY!" Eva declares, jumping out of Liam's arms and starts barreling towards her father, who's appeared at the end of the isle. When Liam sees her leap into his arms, both of them crying with relief, his jaw nearly drops.

"Baby why did you run off? Doesn't daddy always say to hold on to my hand?" He says, whispering to her.

Eva's crying, shaking her head and clinging to him. "I sowwy daddy! I sowwy!"

Liam takes hesitant steps toward them, stops immediately. "Eva, don't forget Spot." He says softly, and her father looks up.

Their eyes meet, and Liam doesn't know what to say or do anymore.

He wants to lean forward and kiss him silly, like he's been wanting to for so long, but he can only think of taking off down the isle and out the doors, forget the bread and eggs and milk. But Eva takes Spot, then takes Liam's hand and pulls him toward them with as much strength as she can against Liam's incapable feet.

"Daddy he helped! Weeum helped!" Eva exclaims. "We supahewos!"

"Hi Harry." Liam finds himself saying, and hopes that his voice is even.

Harry stares at Liam for a moment, then tears his eyes away and down to Eva. "You were? Were you brave?"

Eva nods, throwing herself at Liam's legs. "Daddy!" She exclaims.

Liam rests a hands on her curls, and he feels like he can't breathe.

"Yes Evvy?" Harry says, and Liam can tell he feels the same by the tone in his voice.

"Keep! Keep!" She chants.

"We can't keep Liam, Eva. He's not ours to keep." Harry says, and she relents, toddling back to Harry as he scoops her up. "Thank you," he says. "For finding her for me. I...I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't found her."

Liam shrugs, small smile at the corner of his lips. "It's alright. Kids. You know?" And even he doesn't know what he means.

"Yeah," Harry says anyway. "See you."

And Liam listens to him murmur things to Eva as they leave. 

"Daddy was very scared, you have to promise you won't ever do that again, okay baby girl?" "Okay daddy, I sowwy. I love you." "I love you too, Evvy. Daddy loves you very much. Let's go home now, okay?"

And Liam waits for ten minutes, walking around the supermarket aimlessly until he can breathe again, and then runs and runs and runs until his legs ache.

+

"Why didn't any of you mention that Harry has a daughter?"

Louis, Niall, and Zayn all freeze from where they're watching Iron Man 2 on Niall's TV when Liam barrels in, and Liam stomps his foot when they don't answer right away. So what if he's being childish? Secrets are secrets, and they're best friends and best friends shouldn't keep secrets.

Especially not about the boy Liam thinks he could kiss for ages, but can't because oh right. He has a daughter. "That's why he lied about helping Gemma move, isn't it? Because of Eva."

Silence.

"Well?!" He demands. "Tell me!" 

"Liam, we-"

"Don't you think that's something I deserve to know? I mean you've been trying to set me up with him for months and when I finally take the bait I find out something you should've told me from the start! Something vital! It's in the basics! Name, age, and oh yeah, if he's a father or not!"

"It wasn't ours to tell." Zayn says gently. "We tried to make him tell you, we did, but in the end it wasn't up to us."

"Where's her mum?" Liam presses. He'll get answers if he has to rip it out of them.

"She left before Eva made one. Eva doesn't ask about her." Louis says.

Liam stops short. "She left? Harry's a single father?"

"Yeah," Niall speaks up, tone soft. "She walked out on Harry cause she thought it was too much."

"What did she expect? She's raising a kid." Liam scoffs, and moves to sit with them on the couch.

Zayn shakes his head. "No, not - never mind. You don't understand, Liam. And I don't think it's right for you to hear the story from us."

"Harry said I don't understand, too." Liam pouts, and Zayn almost glares.

"Well you actually don't. You have to get him to tell you."

"Well Harry won't tell me." He whines, and Louis narrows his eyes.

"He won't tell you? Have you even asked him? Have you even asked him why he lied?"

And, well, "No. I haven't. But I-"

Louis raises a hand, silencing him. "Ask him, Liam. I get that he lied to you and all, and yeah. I'm angry at him too, but. This is your chance to get an answer. Talk to him and ask him and figure it out for yourself alright? You can't always run from your problems."

And Liam flinches, because that may be the truth, but he didn't expect it to be so brutal. "I don't-"

"You do, bro." Zayn says softly. "And yeah, he's wrong for lying too, but you both kind of fucked up. Plus, if there's one thing you need to know about Harry, it's that when people run from him, he doesn't chase after them. The way he sees it? If you want to run, you want to leave, and why should he stop you? You clearly don't want to be there, so he's gonna let you leave. Running is your thing, Liam. And staying is Harry's."

+

Eva peers up at her daddy, a frown on her little face as her chubby fingers wipe his tears away. "No be sad daddy," she pleads, "be happy. I love you."

Harry smiles, kissing her little fingers one by one. "I love you too Eva. I love you very much, but I'm not sad, baby."

"Crying." Eva points out, and Harry chuckles.

"I'm crying because I'm happy, Eva." He lies. He's fucking miserable, but Eva doesn't deserve a sad father. "Because I'm happy to have such a beautiful baby girl like you."

She giggles, snuggling further into the sheets and into Harry's chest. For the past three days, Harry's been having Eva sleep with him in his room, mainly for comfort and the reassurance that there's still one thing he's getting right, that there's still one thing in his life that he can't muck up and destroy.

He feels so guilty for keeping Eva from Liam, and Liam from Eva. She hasn't stopped asking about him since their encounter at the store and each time Harry had only said "soon baby, you'll see him soon."

What's even worse is that Louis was right, he was scared of Liam leaving.

He was scared because he was the first person who just made Harry's heart run wild and made him do stupid things. He's the first person who's made the effort to stick around after so long. Eva taking an instant liking to Liam is just making him feel like a shit person. Because the boys were right, he wasn't the type of person to leave just cause of a baby. And if Liam left him and Eva in the future the they could've crossed that bridge when they got to it, right?

Harry blinks back tears and tightens his grip a little on Eva. "Daddy loves you Evvy. You're my favorite girl."

Her little snores are his only response and he smiles. He carefully tucks her into his bed along with Spot and heads down the hall to clean all the toys up in her room. Halfway through, the doorbell rings and Harry races to answer in order to not awaken Eva.

It's like the air gets sucked out of his lungs when he sees Liam standing there, one hand in his pocket, the other clutching a baby pink tote. 

"Uh...hi?" Harry says, hand tight on the knob.

"Hi." Liam murmurs. "I uh, hope you don't mind, but I bought a couple of presents for Eva. There's a set with a sippy cup, and a bottle, and a plate and bowl, with a fork and spoon. They've got pandas on them. I got her a few books on animals, too, and...I know it isn't much but I saw them and I just thought she might like them."

"Oh," Harry says, taking the bag from Liam's outstretched hand. "Well, thank you, that was really nice of you."

"Could I maybe, uh, can I see her? Just to say hi?"

Harry blinks. "She fell asleep just now, actually. I could tell her you said hi, though. But, if you want to come back another time you're more than-"

"Actually, can I come in? I don't mind waiting, and I think you and I really need to talk."

Harry steps aside and watches as Liam takes in the flat. He's staring intently at the photo wall Zayn set up the other day as he toes off his shoes at the rack. The wall contains many pictures of Eva with Harry, Eva with the boys, some of just the boys, but majority of them are filled with Eva. The whole flat is, basically. Childproof gates in the hallways, some up, some resting on the walls, different blankies and bottles scattered around. It doesn't even look like three boys live there at first, but there are jackets draped over chairs and Zayn's art supplies lying around the tables and floors.

"What's her full name?" Liam asks, fingers ghosting over one of many pictures of Eva and Harry.

"Eva Mae Styles."

Liam nods. "When was she born?"

"Her birthday's the thirtieth of June. She's only a year and a half."

"The boys said, uh, they said her mom isn't around?"

Harry shakes his head, leaning against the wall. "Her name's Cara. Eva doesn't remember her. She left before Eva made one, it was uh, kind of my fault? We dated before she got pregnant, and we agreed we'd be a happy family for Eva. But Cara started to get her old feelings back, and I guess I didn't? So she left so she wouldn't get hurt. I mean, we ended things on good terms the first time. Just...this time around was a lot different."

Liam frowns. "That's a little unfair to Eva. I'm sure you could've worked something out."

"I thought so too. But, it's fine, I love Eva, she's my whole life. She doesn't ask about Cara, and if anything she's got the boys. My sister, she visits when she can. My mum too." There's a small silence, and Liam laughs once, looking up at Harry as if he's bashful.

"I feel like I know nothing about you. I mean, I know you, but I...from what I saw at the store, Eva is your life. Your whole life. A life that I didn't know about."

Harry sighs. "Just tell me what you want from me Liam. Do you want an apology? Because I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Eva because I got scared. I was scared that you'd leave like Cara did. I was scared that you would think I was too much and leave me and walk out like she did. I was scared that Eva would lose another person she should've known but didn't because they just had too much of me. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you but I didn't know how. You had so much on your plate from Dubai, I didn't want to add this to the mix. I'm sorry for being an ass and lying to you about everything, about hiding my daughter and hiding my life. Just...just tell me what to expect, or if you're just going to leave and I'll deal with that. Or just tell me what you want from me so I can make it better."

Harry watches as Liam takes tentative steps towards him, letting his hand ghost under his chin before tilting his face down, just a brush of lips before Liam shuts his eyes and surges forward, kissing Harry with as much pent up force as he's got. Harry can feel it shoot straight into his veins and shuts his eyes, wrapping his hands around Liam's shoulders and shoving him into the wall, slotting a leg between Liam's and pressing just barely.

Liam pulls away first, breathless, resting his forehead against Harry's as he speaks against his lips. "I want to know you, all of you. The good and the bad. I want to know your daughter. I want to know everything about her, about the both of you. I want to be there for her like the boys have been. I want her to like me and I want you to fall in love with me. That's all I want, Harry. I swear."

"Promise me you won't run when things get complicated?"

Liam smiles, kissing Harry's lower lip. "I promise. I'm not running."

"You sure? Eva can do a smelly poo for such a tiny baby."

He laughs at that, and Harry almost cries. "She must get it from her father, your farts are pretty gross."

"Don't brink up awful smells when I want to kiss you." Harry pouts, nipping at Liam's lower lip. They kiss again, short and sweet and it feels so good.

"Can I...can I meet her properly? Not today, but. Tomorrow maybe? After class. We could uh, go to the little fun fair they have at the campus."

"Of course," Harry says. "She's going to love you. I just know it."

Liam kisses him again, and Harry can't help the hammer in his heart, and the tempting three words that are threatening to leave his mouth.

+

"Eva, baby wake up now. We've got a big day ahead of us."

Eva stirs, little eyes blinking awake as she stares at her daddy. Harry smiles back, smoothing his hand over her wild bed head. "Sleepy daddy."

Harry laughs, cradling her in his arms and pressing a kiss to her nose, then gives her an Eskimo kiss. "I know honey, but we're going to the fun fair today! You're going to meet someone very special."

Eva just yawns, rubbing her eyes with her little fists as Harry takes her to the bathroom to get ready. He brushes her teeth carefully, and she has a full nappy, so he cleans her quickly and carefully before putting her into the bath, letting her play with her favorite penguin toy.

"Pascal come too?" Eva inquires. 

Harry shakes his head, pouring water over her soapy curls. "Not today. He might get lost, but I'll tell you what, we can get you another toy, would you like that?"

She nods, leaning up to nuzzle her face into Harry's palm. They both laugh just as Louis comes in, looking sheepish.

"Heading out today then?" He asks, waving hello to Eva.

"We're heading to the fun fair." Harry says shortly, draining the tub and wrapping Eva in her fluffy yellow towel. 

"I can get her ready for you, if you want, so you can start getting ready. It's the least I can do."

Louis takes Eva before Harry can say anything else, chatting to her excitedly as they head down the hall. Harry brushes his teeth and takes a quick shower, getting ready in his room as quick as he can. He chooses a long sleeved maroon shirt and blue denim jeans, hiding his still damp curls under a grey beanie. 

When he strolls downstairs and into the living room, Louis and Eva are on the couch. He has her dressed in a maroon shirt and her dungarees, with her little white Chuck Taylor high tops. 

"Daddy! Matchy!" Eva squeals, jumping up and down. "Cap Louis, cap!"

Louis smiles, pulling out a child's grey beanie from the couch cushions and pulling it over her curls, adjusting so she can see. "Sorry, I didn't plan it, guess you guys are just connected that way huh?"

"It's cool," he says, slipping his own white high tops on by the door. "It just makes us look cuter, right Eva?"

"Right!" She shouts, slinging her arms around Harry's neck as he bends to let her climb onto his back. He hooks his arms under her legs as Louis helps slip his keys, phone, and wallet into his pockets.

"I'm sorry, H. For being so hard on you."

"It's okay, Louis." He murmurs. "I get why you did it."

"I just...you're my friend too, but so is he, and he's just been through a lot so, take care of him okay?"

"I will, Louis. I swear."

+

"SUPAHEWO!"

Liam flips around, catching Eva just in time as she bounds over and jumps into his arms. "Well hello again Eva!"

"Hi." She says softly, resting her head on his shoulder. He looks up and smiles as Harry strolls over, and rubs Eva's back.

"You remember Liam, right Evvy? You know him."

"Weeum helped!" She recalls, and Harry smiles.

"That's right baby. He's gonna hang out with us today, would you like that?"

Eva nods, and Liam smiles, leaning forward to accept Harry's kiss. "She's beautiful, Haz."

Harry smiles. "She's my baby girl. Aren't you Evvy? C'mon then. Let's go on the merry go round."

+

"I want that one!" Eva shouts from her seat on Liam's shoulders, yanking his short hair to get him to stop. He follows her little finger to a white polar bear. It's almost the same size as her, and by the wary look on Harry's face, Liam knows Eva wont rest until she gets it.

They step up to the booth and Liam slaps down a bill before Harry can even reach for his wallet.  ("Don't know why you brought that thing," Liam had said earlier. "You're not paying for any of it.")

It's the booth with five beach balls hovering above fans, and you have to knock them all out of the air. Knock one down, get a small frog, knock two, an M&M pillow, knock three, a monkey, four gets you a stuffed puppy, and five is Eva's coveted polar bear. 

Harry gets five beanbags, and Liam steps back enough so he and Eva can watch. "Go daddy!" Eva cheers. "Weeum, cheer for daddy!" Liam laughs as Harry sends a wink over his shoulder, exclaiming "Go daddy!" along with her. Harry pulls his arm back and then launches it forward, sending the first bean bag flying and the beach ball to the net behind it. 

He lines up for the second throw and the beach ball goes flying into the third, both landing on the floor. He strikes down the fourth and fifth easily, and Eva screams in delight when the person at the stand hands over her bear.

Liam lets her down, watching fondly as Eva jumps with glee at her new toy. "That one too daddy!" Eva shouts, and points to another booth across the way. "The big heart!"

Harry laughs, bending down to smooth her curls. "Why do you want that one baby?" 

"No, not for me daddy." She says seriously, shaking her little head, "For Weeum! You have to win Weeum's heart!"

Liam's eyes go wide, and Harry smiles brightly, pressing a kiss to Eva's forehead. He scoops her and her new bear up into his arms, then gives Liam a thoughtful look that he can't read.

"You know," he starts. "Eva normally gets whatever she wants. And it seems like she really wants me to do that. Win your heart, I mean. Isn't that right, Evvy?" Eva nods, cuddling her bear absently. "Thought so. Now let's go win Liam's heart, shall we?"

+

Liam wasn't aware that he was sleeping until a gentle hand shakes him, causing his eyes to fly open and body bolt upright. "Sorry, sorry, I just-"

"It's okay. You were tired." Harry assures, climbing in bed next to him. "Plus, I did tell you that it wouldn't take long to put Eva to bed but, she was kind of persistent."

"Persistent? Why?" 

Harry hums, thumbing at Liam's shirt. It's actually Harry's. (When they were leaving the fair and Liam was on the verge of saying his goodbyes, Eva got whiny and tears threatened to pool in her eyes, so she jumped out of Harry's arms and threw herself at Liam's legs.

"Keep daddy! You said we could keep him this time!"

Which is how Liam ended up at their place, showering and borrowing some of Harry's clothes for pajamas, and giving Eva her nighttime bottle.)

"She was rather keen on sleeping in here with us, actually."

Liam can't help but smile. "Really?"

"I guess that's my fault. She's been kipping in my room these past few nights." Harry draws his hand back, exhaling in a sigh as he hangs his head. "Look, I...I'm really sorry. I should've told you before and I feel like shit about it. I really do. And after tonight I can't - you're just so good with her, Liam. She likes you a lot. And seeing that made me realize I shouldn't have been such a prick and told you from the beginning."

"Yeah, you should've." Liam agrees. He turns his body to face Harry, resting a hand on his thigh. "And I wish you didn't lie. I wish you didn't keep it from me, but we can't change what's already happened. We can only learn to not do it in the future."

Harry looks up at him with a hopeful smile. "Future? Does that mean you'll be sticking around?"

"Eva's a great kid, Haz. She's been brought up so well. And you...you're so great with her. Any child that happy, that bright, has to have someone incredible as an influence. And that person is you. And damn it if I'm not even more attracted to you because of it." Liam leans forward, bumping their foreheads together. "So yes, I'll be sticking around. And if you try to get rid of me you're going to have a hard time doing it. Once I decide to stay, I'm stuck. And so are you."

"No more running?" Harry asks, and Liam giggles, pressing a kiss to Harry's nose.

"No. I quite like staying."

+

It's way too early in the morning to be awake, Liam knows this, but he can hear something and it's out of place, but somehow familiar. He peaks one eye open and sees Harry next to him, on his side with a heavy arm slung over Liam's middle, snoring like he hasn't got a care in the world. But it's not Harry that he's hearing.

Carefully, he slips out of Harry's grip and tiptoes into the hall, following the sound to Eva's room. It sounds like soft weeping, and he immediately goes in, eyes landing on Eva sitting up in her crib, clutching her polar bear and crying into the top of its head.

"Weeum!" She cries, and Liam shushes her gently as he approaches.

"Eva? What's wrong honey?" Liam coos, "Daddy's sleeping right now. Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Eva squeezes her eyes shut and sticks her arms out, reaching for Liam to pick her up. He has one arm secure under her bum, and his other hand is pressed gently to the back of her head, where it rests in the crook of his shoulder - which he's quickly learning is her preferred place.

"Did you have a scary dream?" He tries. Eva nods, clutching Liam's shirt in her little fists. "Aw sweetie. It's okay. Tell you what, I'll stay with you until you feel sleepy, again, okay?"

Eva nods, and Liam sits in the recliner at the corner of her room, pulling a blanket over her to keep her warm. When he wakes up again, he's back in Harry's bed and he's alone, sunlight pouring through the blinds. The house is quiet, but he can hear giggling from down the hall. He takes it upon himself to use the bathroom and clean up a little, using the spare toothbrush Harry set out for him last night. When he steps out, he can hear Harry and Eva's laughter ringing throughout the house and stops just outside of her room.

"Do you like Liam, Eva?" Harry asks her. Liam can hear the tentativeness in his voice.

"I love Liam! Liam supahewo!"

"I'm glad baby. He's going to be around for a long time, yeah?"

"Okay daddy." She says, and it's quiet until "Is Liam my daddy too?"

For a moment, Harry doesn't respond, and Liam can feel every inch of his skin light up from nerves. But then "If you want, Evvy." He says. "Only if you want to."

"Okay! Liam papa?"

"Sure. He's papa. How about breakfast now, Eva? Are you hungry?" She must nod, because Liam can hear Harry's footfalls and then they're in the hallway, face to face. Eva squeals when she sees Liam, reaching for him with both hands.

"Papa!" She exclaims, her and Harry wearing matching smiles.

Liam steps forward, wrapping an arm around them both and pressing a solid kiss to Harry's lips. "I love you." He confesses. "I love you so much."

Harry blinks, and Eva is wriggling her way out of Harry's grip and climbing to practically koala Liam. He embraces Eva easily, keeping his eyes on Harry.

"I love you too." He finally says, soft and wondrously. And Liam's pretty sure it's all he's wanted to hear since they kissed in the reference stacks.

And sure, Liam knows that he and Harry might not last forever. But they're sure going to last a very long while. He still gets flashes of "what ifs" in his mind, and can still taste the bitter memory of Dubai, but when he looks at Harry, his beautiful Harry, the bitterness goes away.

Because it's not going to end like that.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the excessive use of italics. Also, if it's spaced weirdly I apologize. I tried to fix it as best as I can. And if there are some spelling or grammar errors I'm sorry about that too. I tried my best to proofread.


End file.
